triggered

This morning I was triggered.

My teenager knows my guilt spot and he went for it.

He took a dig.
I was mad. Immediately mad.

The reason I was mad, is because of what I was thinking.

I was thinking…

He’s criticizing me.
He wants me to feel guilty.
He is judging me.
I’m failing as a mom.

No matter what I do, it’s not enough.
I’m doing my best, and it’s still not enough.
No one appreciates me.
It’s not fair.

No wonder I was feeling so terrible, right? That collection of thoughts flooded my mind and the result… triggered.

The reality is that he was discharging his own negative feelings.
Maybe he was criticizing or judging me.
Maybe he doesn’t appreciate me.
Maybe he does want me to feel guilty.

I don’t really know.

What I do know is that my emotions and the way I react is my responsibility.

And it’s my job to appreciate what I do and be my own supporter. I’m not going to count on my kids to tell me I’m amazing or “make me” feel good. That’s not their job and it’s not okay to ask that of them.

I won’t delegate my happiness to my kids – it’s just not a good idea. It’s not my kids job to make me feel good. It’s mine.

Who’s in charge of your happiness today? Your toddler? Your teenager?

I hope it’s you.
Give yourself a little sunshine and happiness. You deserve it.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time.

– Molly Claire