As a coach, you want to use your gifting to help others create their ideal life and business. Naturally, you also desire this for yourself. But how do you build a committed business that nurtures your ideal life? How do you stay true to your own path and not someone else’s? How do you avoid building someone else’s business or building a business that doesn’t support the life you want?
In this episode, I chat with certified Life Coach, Heather Rackham, about these very questions. Heather shares lessons she’s learned and truths she’s embraced along her business-building journey. She shares about knowing your own values, following your own instincts, and sticking with your priorities. In this, you find clarity. And in clarity, you find joy, definitive action, and freedom. Freedom to pour into others while still building the coaching business and life your heart longs for.
What You’ll Learn
How to Build Your Right Business – Not someone else’s
End the frustration loop
Commit and recommit to your ideal life
How to Commit to Your Values (Priorities) and Clarify Them
Discern between what you value and what others think you should value
Acknowledge internal and external judgment
Reject ambition shame and surround yourself with a community of support
How Heather Shaped Her Coaching Business Growth
The value of why
The value of progression
The value of uniqueness
The value of challenge
How to Create Fuel and Avoid Unproductive Shifts
The power of alignment
The power of understanding yourself
The power of coming home
The power of leaning in
How Heather Adjusted and Built Her Ideal Business and Life
The lesson of not building someone else’s business
The lesson of being true to your own alignment
The lesson of embracing personal coaching for your life and your navigation
Contact Info and Recommended Resources
Meet Heather Rackham, The Second Marriage Coach
Heather runs the Latter-Day Saints (LDS) Life Coach Directory, which lists coaches that are members of the LDS church and are also certified through the Life Coaching School. Coaches in this directory work with people both inside and outside of the church. She is also the host of the coaching podcast, Latter-Day Life Coaches, which features a variety of LDS coaches and their niches.
In her own coaching, Heather is a certified Life Coach and works with women who are in a second marriage or considering one. It is her desire to teach women to have peace, safety, love and respect both in their marriage and for themselves. In addition to her own business, Heather serves as a mentor within The Coaching Collective with Molly Claire and Aimée Gianni.
Moly Claire: Welcome to the Masterful Coach Podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and Life Mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place; and now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Molly Claire.
Hello, coaches you are in for a treat. Today, I’ve got an interview with Heather Rackham for you. She is a coach who I worked with personally and went through the Coaching Collective. And one of the things that we teach with so much enthusiasm in the collective is really helping our coaches to create a business that supports the life that they want. And Heather is quite possibly the best example of really buying into this and making it happ en. And so when I was thinking about sharing with you some of these ideas of creating a business that supports the life you’ve really want, Heather was, of course, the first person that came to mind.
So I love all of the insights that she shares, and I’m just really excited for you to hear from her and hear her wisdom and be inspired by her. I feel inspired by her every time I see her posting pictures about living this life that she loves. So you’re going to love it. And before I dive in, I also want to make sure that you all know that we have our free monthly mastery training coming up in the Coaching Collective, if you have not signed up, make sure to go to the coachingcollective.com and that’s where you can sign up for our free monthly training. It’s awesome. We do it every single month, and it’s coming up. So make sure to sign up and enjoy the interview.
Hey, Heather, how are you?
Heather Rackham: I’m so good Molly, thanks for having me here.
Molly Claire: Oh, I’m so excited to interview you. When I was thinking about the coaches that I want to interview that are such a great example of some of the philosophies that I believe in and love to share and teach and thinking about committing to your ideal life and really making that a priority; you’re the first one that popped into my mind. So I’m excited to have you.
Heather Rackham: Well, I’m excited to be here and really fun to make that shift in my life over the last couple of years and see where it’s taking me.
Molly Claire: Yeah, and one thing I’m going to be asking you is about the commitment you’ve made to your ideal life, because I’ve just seen in you time and again, that that’s just not negotiable for you, and I think that that’s kind of rare. It’s something that a lot of people struggle with, a lot of coaches struggle with. So I’m excited for you to share your wisdom with all of that.
Heather Rackham: Well, hopefully it sounds like wisdom, and I don’t know, we’ll see. We’ll see.
Molly Claire: I think it is. Okay, so first of all, tell us a little bit about you and your current business right now?
Heather Rackham: Okay, so I am currently running the Latter Day Saint life coach directory, which is a directory that has coaches listed on there who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and also certified through the Life Coach School. So it doesn’t mean that the coaches that are listed on there are only coach members of that church. It just means that for people who are looking for a coach who might understand their background and their beliefs that it gives them a place to go. So they can find somebody who understands them and understands maybe their history and where they’ve come from. So right now there’s close to 60 coaches listed on there in various different niches that coach so many different aspects in people’s lives, and it’s a great community, a great resource for the coaches, and also mostly for the clients. It’s a beautiful place to be.
Molly Claire: Yeah, and you’ve got your podcast going with just such a variety of really awesome coaches with great interesting niches and everything.
Heather Rackham: Yep. Every Tuesday we release a new podcast episode and every episode is called Latter Day life coaches. Every episode is a conversation between me and a different coach that’s listed in the directory. And like I said, there’s so much variety that there’s just so many interesting things to learn there.
Molly Claire: Yeah, I love it. I love it. Every time I see your Instagram posts, I’m like, ‘Oh, that would be so interesting because of the variety and topics.’ It’s so much fun. And then also I want to mention because that’s kind of the business of it, right of how you would describe what you do. But tell me a little bit about why you love it. What it is about being in that business and working with those coaches that you’re really passionate about doing?
Heather Rackham: I’m a trained life coach and I love life coaching. I have been certified in coaching for I don’t know five years maybe, who knows, who knows what year it is anymore, I don’t even know. I love doing that and I love seeing the tools of coaching change people’s lives. And I felt like there was like, I had this little teeny corner that I was able to and people that I was able to work with. And I kept feeling like, it’s not enough, like I’m not reaching who I want to reach. But yet at the same time, I wasn’t willing to put forth all the hours that it would probably take to reach everybody in the world. Nor is that even possible for me to reach everybody in the world; but that’s what my little heart was telling me I needed to be doing. I need to be able to get this out to the world, so everybody could experience the life changing things that happen from using these tools.
That was kind of always in the back of my mind, but feeling very limited by being able to do what one person can do, and then this directory kind of just snuck into my life a little bit. At first I was like, ‘Yeah, no, that doesn’t sound like anything I’d be interested in doing.’ But then I just had this little inkling of a thought that actually you probably should look into this, and as I have learned. I have been through your program, the Coaching Collective, obviously, and as I have gone through that program, I have learned to lean into my own intuition a little bit more, and to trust that I know how to make some decisions. And as I listened to that little voice kind of says, ‘No, maybe you should take a second look at this idea.’ I kind of thought, okay, I’ll trust it.
And so I leaned in, and I trusted it and it turns out that leaning into that is what opened the door for me to be able to help bring these tools to so many more people than I felt like I wanted and needed to do. Because there was a piece of me that I really believe I felt so limited in the beginning because I had this idea of being able to take these tools to everybody, but yet not knowing how I was going to do that. And so it felt very frustrating until I finally kept working and reaching and walking and following my little instincts, that one day it was like, ‘Oh, this turns out that this is how it was supposed to be.’ And yeah, that was a really long way to answer your question, and it was a backs. It kind of needed a little bit of a background story I guess.
Molly Claire: Yeah. Well, I think as Heather mentioned, she has gone through the Coaching Collective, and is in our Mastermind, and I remember when this came up, Heather, because we were in our Mastermind, we have our quarterly workshop and we plan everything out, right? A plan for the quarter is in place, and Heather did not meet her goal and her plan that quarter because you shifted in the middle, and you weren’t afraid to do it, because you knew this was really the direction that was calling you, and I love that so much.
Heather Rackham: Yeah. And in fact, it did. It felt right. Like I followed my instincts, and I got some pushback, like a couple other people that were like, ‘Yeah, I’m not sure that’s a great idea,’ which kind of threw me for a loop a little bit, but then when I kind of re-honed and thought you know what, I have to trust, I think I’m going to trust my heart. I’m going to trust my instincts here. And yes, so I did and that scared me to death to like go against what somebody else’s professional opinion might be and follow my own instincts. That was actually something good for me to learn to just kind of actually see that there is somebody who can have a different opinion about me or what I’m doing and I can have a different opinion and go with it and have it be okay.
Molly Claire: Yes. Oh 100%. One of my first episodes I talk about one of the biggest lessons learned for me building my business is to listen to your gut over the expert. And the times that I listened to the expert over my gut are the times that I had that slow down in my business and so…
Heather Rackham: Yeah and it’s so scary to do it.
Molly Claire: I know.
Heather Rackham: So terrifying. But I would have to agree with you. So I think I look back at all the times that maybe I had some success, and however big or small, I would rate that success it was when I trusted my own instincts.
Molly Claire: Yes. 100% yes. And one other thing I just want to add to this as far as what I believe you love about what you’re doing. So Heather’s also a mentor coach in the collective. And I know that you just thrive in that, I know you want to help these coaches, like mentor in our business, of course, but in this community and I know I’ve heard from you that you just love being there as a support to them, and really helping them with the challenges that they have in really coaching them as they build their business. So I love that about you.
Heather Rackham: Well, I love it too, because I think for me, I saw so much of a shift in, first of all my confidence and then therefore my business, when I really dialed in on what I actually wanted in my business, what my values were going to be and what I was going to honor that I can’t get enough of trying to help other coaches figure out that same thing, because that was so beneficial for me, and so I feel like it. I love being there. I love being able to mentor and help any of the coaches that I can.
Molly Claire: Yeah, I love it. Okay, so Heather, just like did this perfect segue to the next thing…
Heather Rackham: Oh, I like when that happens!
Molly Claire: I know. So one thing that I see so often with coaches, and I really worked a lot with coaches on this in my individual practice, and of course, in the collective we’re big on this, as you know how there is. These two things that we often see coaches do, where they are either trying to build someone else’s business, meaning they see that someone else has a certain type of business, or has a certain income level, and they think, ‘Oh, well, that’s what I should build, that’s what I should do.’
Or they’re building a business that would support a life that isn’t really like the life that they want. So either they’re looking at a certain way of doing business that really isn’t them, but they think they should do, or they’re looking at a life that someone else is building or creating with their business that really isn’t the life that they want. So I want to hear from you, Heather on this, like, tell us about your experience with these challenges?
Heather Rackham: Well, I’m listening to both those and going, that was me on both ends, because I did find myself thinking that I needed to build somebody else’s business. I love how you said that. There were coaches that I looked at and thought that’s the kind of business that I want, I need to be that sort of coach. And then on the same token, I also have a lifestyle that I love, and there are activities that my family loves to do, and that I am and the culture that my husband and I have worked hard to create in our family, I wasn’t willing to give that up. And so they were kind of competing, right? I’m thinking that I want to create a business that this person has created, but yet creating that is going to take away from the family that I have worked 25 years to create.
I know it’s possible to have a family and do the things that we do as coaches. I’m not saying that at all, I’m just saying that the lifestyle that we live, I didn’t want to change that either. We have pretty I don’t know, last minute adventurous lifestyle we like to do. As I tried to create this business and thinking like I needed to do something just like these other people had done their businesses, I noticed that I think I was kind of starting to self sabotage in some way. Because I didn’t really want to create that; I didn’t really want to create a business where I had to be around a certain number of hours a week and not have the flexibility to run off whenever I wanted to within reason.
You actually helped me notice that I was kind of sabotaging that on my own business moving because I actually didn’t want to create what I was trying to create. So that was a really eye opening thing for me to see that I was actually never going to create anything, because I wasn’t letting myself; I hadn’t let myself envision what I actually wanted to have, and how I could create a business that could fit in and work with my lifestyle. I wasn’t letting myself even imagine that because I was too busy trying to create somebody else’s business that was not ever going to work for me.
Molly Claire: Yes. And I think that’s such a frustration loop that we create, right? Because it’s like frustration because I want to have success, whatever that means, so trying to create success, but then being frustrated about not having what you want in your life or feeling that competition between someone else’s business that we’re trying to create and the life we want. So feeling that competition and frustration there. Or as you said, the ways that we’re kind of sabotaging at a subconscious level and not really aware and then of course that feels frustrating, obviously.
Heather Rackham: Oh, it’s a horrible cycle. But yeah, I just felt like I was beating my head against the wall half the time; thinking this is what I need to be doing. I need to be doing this. But what’s going to happen if that works? It’s going to ruin my life and I don’t want that, so anyway.
Molly Claire: Yes, and I know at one point in your business, what you did is you decided, hey, wait a minute, I’m going to have groups at this time of year and this time of year that fit in perfectly with my life. And I remember that being such a moment of freedom for you too, so you could have that space to go hiking and camping with your family.
And I remember one time also just talking through with you. It’s like, yes, you want to be available to drop everything when your kids have something last minute or that they forgot to tell you. And that was something that there had been a lot of conflict and guilt around. But it’s like, guess what, everyone listening right now, it’s okay for you to decide how you want to spend your time and what you want your life and business to look like, right?
Heather Rackham: Yeah, and you just have to follow up. In fact, if this very much happened with you, and I tried to do this podcast, I had my kids come home from school and say, ‘Mom, we need you to be at this place at one o’clock on whatever date,’ and that’s exactly when we had this episode recorded. And my previous self would have been like, ‘Oh, dang it, I really want to be there. But I don’t want to cancel this.’ But my new self, the person that I have helped myself evolve into, was I gave myself permission to be; I can reschedule this. That’s fine.’ And I’m honoring the commitments and the values that I have stated and decided on for myself.
Molly Claire: Right, because I’m not your top priority.
Heather Rackham: I know, as much as…
Molly Claire: It’s true.
Heather Rackham: Sorry, Molly.
Molly Claire: That’s all right. That makes me happy that I am not your top priority.
Heather Rackham: You helped me learn that you’re not my top priorities, right?
Molly Claire: Yes. So yeah, I just love that. So all of you coaches listening, really think about this, because thinking about, okay, what is the type of business that I want? What business first of all fits my personality, fits my values, fits the things that I enjoy? Really think about that and give yourself permission to create a business that fits you. And also think about the life that you want and make sure that you are creating a business that supports that life. And I think a lot of this comes down to like committing and recommitting to your ideal life. And Heather, tell me a little bit about that. Because you’re someone who I’ve seen commit and recommit again and again, to your ideal life. How do you think you’ve been able to do that?
Heather Rackham: Well, I first of all, have got very clear on what my values were and the Coaching Collective did help me really become clear on that. And the things that I thought were my values; I was surprised that they ended up not being as important as other things. But there were things that were time and time again that would show up on my list of values as being the important thing. So I honored those, I chose to decide that those are the things that will be my priority, and that’s where I’m going to stay committed. But it hasn’t really been that hard for me to stay committed to them, because they’re my values, and I think everybody can find those cores.
Those core values that are really strongly in there, if you dig deep enough and try to find them. And I think once we hit on them, I don’t think it’s that hard to stay committed. And that was important for me to recognize that once I found them- and it wasn’t the ones that I thought were important, then it’s easy to stay. So yeah, that and then just reminding myself of them because it is easy, like our brain will get a little sidetracked, gets that like squirrel or brain will look at this and then look at that and go, ‘Oh, that looks like a good idea. Oh, maybe that’s a better idea.’
But it’s really not; this is how much time for me it was initially just deciding on the amount of time that I was going to put into my business every week because it was hard for me to really decide what it was going to look like. But I knew that I had this much time in my week that I was willing to put into a business. So yeah, it was for me that the initial very first step is this is how much time I’m going to spend here, and then whatever doesn’t happen, it’s okay. Like that can move over into next week. So I think it sounds like a simple thing. But for me, that was an important first step was just on that.
Molly Claire: Definitely! A lot of people don’t do that, and we try to just squeeze everything in or we’re not as intentional as we think we really are about our time. And I think also, when Heather talks about values, and I know what she means by this, so I’ll speak to this. It’s like sometimes we think values means like; oh one person has values and someone else doesn’t. We have the scale of morality or something. But when we’re talking about values, it’s really, that everyone kind of values different things, and that’s okay.
And when we can be clear and give ourselves permission to value what we value, that’s when I think often it becomes easier to commit to. And as Heather was talking, I was thinking about how valuable the process is, of just really getting clear on the things that we actually value and our priorities, and the things that actually aren’t. And the things that actually aren’t are often the things that we think we should value, or we think everyone around us thinks we should value, and so I think getting clear and making that distinction; it sounds like for you that distinction, Heather, really helped to ground you in what was important to you.
Heather Rackham: Oh, absolutely. And it was really important for me to step away and watch the judgments that I had on myself a little bit more, maybe not, in the end, choosing something else or saying, this is my value and being able to walk away from it. It’s still a value, but it’s not one of my priorities, maybe I’m probably messing up the way that I want to use my words there.
But looking at that, and seeing that maybe I did judge myself a little bit for saying, ‘You know, what, I’m going to focus here,’ and being okay. And it’s okay to judge myself, and I also don’t need to judge myself at the same time, like noticing it, that judgment is noted, and now I can walk away from it. That was an important step of the process which goes right, along with the things that we think we should do, because we always judge ourselves for thinking that we should do something and never feels good, and never takes us anywhere that we want to be either.
Molly Claire: No, it doesn’t. And I think giving ourselves that permission to like, see what is important to us and what we really want, and I think also surrounding yourself with people who are in support of you giving yourself permission to create what you want is huge also, definitely?
Heather Rackham: Absolutely! Because I think we’ve all been in communities where if you make a decision, you’re going to mute people, or you get a little bit of backlash, like, why would you decide to do that? Or that’s not a great place to be either. So I do think it is very important to surround yourself with people who honor people’s life choices, who are willing to honor your values, and see them as being not just a nice fruitful thing, but it’s something like your individual values are very important.
Molly Claire: Yes, 100%. Okay, so this is a little bit of a tangent, but I want to talk about this just for a minute anyway, because I think this is such a big deal. So, of course, you’ve shared Heather, that you have your kids; your family is a high priority. And I think that women building businesses who have families, I think can feel a lot of shame on two fronts here. I think sometimes women who are high achieving, and want to build a business, feel shame about that, thinking they maybe shouldn’t be as ambitious, and they should cut that out a little and maybe lower the bar a little bit and focus on what’s most important, namely their family and stop the energy flow there. Do you agree that you’ve seen that side of things Heather?
Heather Rackham: Yeah, because they think if they have that, they think if they want to build a business to say, this is my experience, if I am saying I want to build a business, then that means that I must not mean that my family is important anymore. I must not be making my family a priority anymore.
Molly Claire: Yeah. So I think that’s a really common thing that happens. And then I’ve also seen the flip side, where you can have someone where you can be in a community of other ambitious women, and there seems to be a bit of shame around, for example, what you’ve brought up here, Heather of, I actually do want to be pretty available to my kids, and I want them to be a high priority. And sometimes I am really going to choose my family over this ambition in this way or that way. And I think often there’s kind of a stigma around that too, kind of like, come one, this is the 21st century.
Heather Rackham: Yeah, there are both sides to it…
Molly Claire: Yes.
Heather Rackham: I just want to say, it’s so sad that we do that to each other, but it’s there. It’s honestly there and we have to learn how to manage that and manage those judgments that we feel wherever we are and the world we live in.
Molly Claire: Yes, 100% and obviously I think our community is like the best for coaches. But for coaches out there, whether it’s ours or another make sure that you are surrounding yourselves with a community that is supportive of you building the business and life that you want and honors really who you are and what you want, and doesn’t expect you to really cater to fit into a certain mold or be a certain way, because I think it makes a huge difference.
Heather Rackham: Well, we do that ourselves, we’re hard enough on ourselves when we think we don’t fit into a particular mold because we all have an idea or a vision of what mold we’re supposed to fit into. And I think that’s half of what we do as coaches is trying to bust out of the molds that we have created on the visions that we see that we have to have of ourselves, and so we don’t need anybody else telling us what it used to look like. Be careful with the people you surround yourself with because we don’t want to harden up ourselves.
Molly Claire: Yeah 100%. Okay, so one of the other things I thought would be kind of fun to hear from you as your top priorities in your life and why they are and really give a flavor of the fun things. I know you’ve already mentioned, being adventurous, just share with us what some of those favorite things are in your life?
Heather Rackham: I feel like I have all the notebooks that I have done through the Coaching Collective where I’ve written down all this great work. And I’m pulling them out right now because I keep them close by because I do pull them out and look at them often so that I can keep myself refocused.
Molly Claire: Yeah, oh my Gosh, I love that, it’s so brilliant.
Heather Rackham: Well, because it’s easy for us all to get distracted. So I’m going to just tell you my priorities. My priorities or values, I kind of look at them a little bit fluidly now. When I went through the Coaching Collective were more specific about them. But at this point in my life, I am a little bit more fluid. So I really value freedom. I’ve said that before. We live in Idaho, and there are amazing things all around us to go do and we wholeheartedly embrace all of them. We love to raft, we love to hike and backpack and dirt bike. Dirt biking, okay, it’s a little bit scary for me, but I will willingly go and try not to kill myself, all those things.
I and my husband has created a business where he has a lot of freedom as well. And so in creating my business, I didn’t want to create something where I couldn’t get up and go do whenever the family was going to go do stuff. So freedom is really important to me, wisdom, progression. When I was initially starting my business, I could not come up with a why. I had no why as to why I was doing my business because I felt guided into the coaching industry to be a coach, I didn’t know why. I didn’t have any ambitions of I was really content being a stay at home mom, to be honest. And I just felt guided in this direction. So I did, but I could never come up with a why like, I had no monetary goals. I didn’t really care about that.
The one thing I did know is that I love to progress. And that became my why. I just wanted to progress. And the only way for me to do that I felt like — sometimes I think we progress because of hardships in some way or challenges. And to be honest, I feel a lot of times like my life is pretty easy. And so I felt like creating a business and starting a business was my way of manufacturing some hard things in my life. So that really kind of became my why.
Progression became my why, which is also one of my values. And that’s oddly enough, like creating hard things for myself was a big enough way for me to keep going when it was hard, because I knew that I valued progression. So being very clear on that value became very important for me. Love, enthusiasm, inspiration, adventurous, uniqueness wasn’t one that you and I talked about a lot when I was coaching with you, because I do value being a little bit unique, which was so funny, because I was always trying to create a business that looked like somebody else’s. But I value uniqueness.
Once I figured that out. I thought oh, yeah, it makes sense for me to do something that is uniquely me because I value that. Those are a few of my values, my priorities that really keep me grounded and centered and coming back to what I want.
Molly Claire: I love it. And I love that you shared your why because I definitely make a big deal about having a strong why. And the reason I love that you brought that up is because people might say that’s not a very strong why. But for you it was and you made a strong why. You realize like progression and growth for me is so important that that is enough for me to create this. And the other thing that oh, this just came to my mind when you were talking is that wouldn’t it be interesting if more of us decided to create intentional growth? Would we perhaps not bring so much turmoil and challenges into our life if we would instead create growth in that way? I think sometimes we at a subconscious level, invite challenges, invite turmoil, invite and create problems. So we aren’t bored with our life. As funny as it is, I really think that that’s kind of true.
Heather Rackham: I think that is fantastic insight. And one that I haven’t really thought about that, but I would 100% agree with you there. Like I said, I feel like my life is pretty easy. And to be honest, I was always kind of nervous to go around the next corner, because I’m like, hey, my life so easy. Something’s got to give, there’s going to be like a big challenge that gets dropped in my lap. And so, I was a little bit scared, like, what might be around this corner, what might be on this corner? I decided what I was going to find, what was around the corner. That made a huge difference for me. I’m not nervous about what that might happen next, because I’m actually creating some of the challenge on purpose and actually not even some, most of the challenges of my life I created on purpose. And where I used to run from it, I kind of face it head on now.
Molly Claire: Yeah. I love it. So fun. I just have loved watching you really come alive with this new direction in your business. And it’s so fun. I love it.
Heather Rackham: Well, I love it too. And it does look different, right? This business looks very different from anybody else’s coaching business, per se. And some might even say it’s not even a coaching business, but it is a coach. I mean, it’s all the coaches working together. So, it does look very different. It’s very unique to me, and I don’t even think that I would have even considered it. Had I not done all the work that I had done in embracing my uniqueness, embracing what was important to me, what I valued, and learning to follow my own instincts.
Molly Claire: Yeah. I love it. And as I mentioned, I think it was like mid quarter. And you are like, I’m completely shifting my direction, I’m shifting my corridor plan. This is what I’m doing. I know, this is the best thing and a way you went. And then it was just like no looking back, right?
Heather Rackham: Yeah. Well, I look back one time when I got a little bit scared. And then you brought me right back and said, but remember, how did you feel when you made this decision in the first place? And I was like, “Oh, yeah, it felt like coming home.” And so, that’s where I recenter myself to. As long as I feel like I’m at home, I’m coming home into my own self, then I really feel like I am staying in alignment with where I am headed. And I feel so good.
Molly Claire: Yeah, and I think that this is so important, like for all of the listeners, because I think that creating consistent energy and momentum and focus in your business is fueled like you create that so much more easily when you really are aligned with what you want with your values. And you’re just excited about what you’re doing. Not to say that it’s not easy, or that it’s not hard or that there aren’t challenges, because there are, but I think there’s a difference when you are excited and motivated and aligned, those challenges feel much different than when you are kind of, like, off your path. And you can feel that.
Heather Rackham: Yeah, one feels so much more laden with dread. You’re just reading moving, at least for me, it does one feels really dreadful. And the other one feels like, oh, I’m not too excited about doing this, but I’m excited about where it’s going to take me. For me, that’s kind of how I’m learning to differentiate it. There are some things that I don’t want to do. But I also didn’t want to change my kids’ diapers every day. There are things like that in a business that are kind of the things I got to do. But we also know that we kind of do want to do them, because we don’t want our kids to sit in a nasty diaper all day long. And I want to do this because it’s going to lead to something greater down the road in my business as well.
Molly Claire: I think that’s it. It’s like when you know that this is leading to what you actually want, you’re willing to face those hard things and do them whereas the others kind of feel like oh. And I guess that was the other thing actually, I was going to ask and maybe that is your answer to it. I was wondering if you’d share how you can tell if you’re starting to shift into that, like, should space like I should do this, I should create someone else’s life or someone else’s business like, what are the clues for you?
Heather Rackham: Well, your sister asked this question a couple weeks ago in one of our calls. And my initial answer is, and you’ll think this is really funny, like, when I know that I first need to start taking a look at what I’m doing, it’s when I want to stay in the shower all day long.I don’t want to get out of the shower, because I don’t want to face what’s on my list of things to do today. So when I noticed that that’s entering into my thoughts, I know that I need to take a step back and see why. I need to see what direction I’m headed. That’s not necessarily in alignment with where I want to be. So that’s my very clear sign that I need to look.
My other thing that I can take note of and I think I said this before, is I really tried to stay in touch with what feels like home to me. I have spent 25 years creating the home that I wanted to have with my husband and my children. And I know what that feels like, I know what I wanted in creating that home for my family. And I also know what that feels like in my heart. It’s my business. So I have really tried to pay attention to that because that’s important to me. And I know what it feels like. So if I feel like I’m coming home with the things that I’m doing in my business, I know I’m on the right track. Does that make sense?
Molly Claire: Oh, totally. I love that. I mean, I think everyone listening can think about that, like when in your business have you really have that sense of like, this feels like home, this feels like me is really what it is coming back to my center.
Heather Rackham: My business has taken a couple shifts. I started off with certain niches, and then I shift to another and then I shift to another. And I felt right. All of those decisions, all of those directions that I went felt good and they felt right. But then when I shifted to this, it felt like coming home. I know at this point in my life, I can see how each of those niches, each of those directions I went in my business where necessary. They were important building blocks in what brought me to where I am because some people could look back and think, well, you must have not followed your intuition. Because why did you not just do this in the first place? Why did you have this business going on or this detour this niche? And I really look at it and know that they were important steps in bringing me to where I am.
I know that there’s so much more growth still ahead of me, but I know how I want to feel and I know that I am home now and leaving. But just following that feeling will guide me forward still. So I just think this is important to note that all the steps that we’ve taken really are important steps and you’ll know when you feel at home, like when you’ve finally settled because I did feel a little unsettled in all of those other areas. It just felt okay, like I knew I was supposed to be there, but it was never…
Molly Claire: It didn’t feel like that endpoint.
Heather Rackham: It wasn’t the endpoint. I wasn’t ready to take off my shoes and put on my pajamas and just stay there for a while.
Molly Claire: Yeah. I love that visual. And I think I agree. I mean, when I think about the things I’ve done, like I did my work with moms and I have the hot happy mom mindset book. So important; I use that all the time now with my coaches. And we use some of those same principles and the work I did with women going through divorce and relationship work and I just see how all of that business experience, of course, contributes to what I’m doing now. And I use this stuff all the time, even in our quarterly planning, helping people to get their priorities straight and helping people to look at their personal life first. So I love that you said that and for all of you listening, wherever you are in your business, remember that you just are taking one step at a time. You make one decision that feels like the right step and you lean into it and you go with it and you may not know exactly where you’ll end up. But keep following those decisions and those directions that feel right to you. And we’ll all get to that place where we get to put on our pajamas and stay awhile. I love it.
Heather Rackham: Best thing, isn’t it? Every night, put those pajamas on and just relax. No, I think the place when I’m working, when I’m mentoring clients or coaches in the Coaching Collective, people get so scared sometimes and it’s hard for them to make a decision on what they want to do because they feel like this is a lifelong decision, I’m going to be stuck here forever when I make this decision. And I think when you offer yourself some freedom to just follow your instincts, make that first step and then lean into it, like you said, rather than thinking this is where I’m going to be forever, just oh, no, this is just the next step, it frees us up so much to make decisions and be creative and to create content, because we’re not so stuck and fearful about put our feet in cement, we have to stay here forever now.
Molly Claire: Totally, and I think it can go both ways, because we can sometimes use that as a reason or excuse to not really, totally lean into something, which isn’t useful, right? When we’re like, I don’t know, if I’m going to do this and I may not stay in this, and we don’t really give it a shot. And the flip side of that, like you said, Heather, is like being so afraid of like, oh, if I do this, I’m going to be stuck here. And maybe this isn’t what I want to do. And so I think that’s why like, when I advise coaches, when they’re leaning into their knees, or the direction they’re going, kind of bring both right? Choose a direction, know that you can change your mind at any time, but right now for this period of time, be it a year, or whatever it is, go all in and act as if you’re going to be here for a lifetime knowing that you can set a point at which you can decide what’s next.
Heather Rackham: Yeah, 100%. Lean in 100% and go for it because on both ends of the spectrum, you won’t ever know if you actually want to stay there if you haven’t gone all in. If you haven’t gone all in, how would you even know if you want to stay there? You have to go all in and let yourself decide because, like I said, I spent 25 years building and creating a home that I wanted to have, and we have to spend time creating in order to know it’s where we want to be yes. I’m not saying you have to stay in your business for 25 years. I’m just saying that you have to go all in, you have to. You have to dive in. But also give yourself permission to leave if you if you decide that it’s not where you want to stay either?
Molly Claire: Yeah. And I think like, back to when you made the shift to your current business, you were going all in on the direction you were going.
Heather Rackham: I was 100%.
Molly Claire: 100%. And then this light came up and you knew you followed your intuition. And you made that shift, not because you were running away from what you had been doing, or because you weren’t committed to it at all. But it just like, sometimes that’s just how life unfolds, and you are willing to listen and be open to it.
Heather Rackham: Yeah, and I guess for me, that’s the part that I think is important. We can go all in on something, but if there’s something better out there for us, we’re going to know it. And believing that and trusting that helps it be much easier to go all in on something, you can go all in and still be open to the thought that, but if this ends up not being it, I’m going to know and I’m going to trust that too. That’s what it was for me is that I knew and so I was able to trust that.
Molly Claire: Yeah, I love it. And I’m glad I was thinking how funny it is that you’re like when I don’t want to get out of the shower and face my day. But some people know when they don’t want to even get in the shower to begin with. I didn’t want to get out of bed and get in the shower. So at least you make it to the shower.
Heather Rackham: The morning time before the shower is my most favorite. I don’t ever have a problem getting out of bed because I love my morning routine. It’s beyond the morning routine, that’s what helps me see if I’m in align or not, if I don’t want to go beyond that, and that happened once I stepped out of the shower.
Molly Claire: Yeah, that’s awesome. Okay, everyone, all of you think about what is your shower analogy? What is it that stands out for you when you know you’re off track? Okay, a couple things I want to ask as we finish up here is what would you say has been your biggest lesson learned in building your business?
Heather Rackham: Oh, Gosh, my biggest lesson has been the thing that you said in the very beginning that I will never be able to build somebody else’s business. Learning or thinking that my business needed to look like somebody else’s was my biggest stumbling block. And when I finally was able to rid myself of that belief, and be really clear on what it was that I actually wanted, it was game over. I mean, it was like not game over. It was like let the games begin, kind of that’s what happened for me. So that was my biggest lesson. Just really honor what I want and honor the kind of thing that I want to create and that doesn’t matter what anybody else.
Molly Claire: Yes, I love that. I would say that’s one of my biggest lessons too. It’s interesting in my partnership in the Coaching Collective, because sometimes what I want or what Amy wants, or the places we thrive, aren’t always the same. And so that’s something we really have to do because we have to both be true to what we each want, and be in alignment for ourselves because if one of us is out of alignment for the sake of the other person in the partnership, the partnership is never going to thrive. And so we both have to really hold that space for ourselves individually, so that we can come together in the partnership. So that’s kind of the work that we’re always doing there too.
Heather Rackham: So it’s important for all of us, though, right? It’s important to any aspect of our life that we have to honor who we are.
Molly Claire: Yes. 100%. Okay, last thing I’ll ask is, what advice do you have for any coaches that are struggling to build a successful business while committing to their ideal life?
Heather Rackham: Well, hands down the advice I would give them, if you have not done the Coaching Collective, that’s totally unsolicited. And that’s not the answer, you’re probably thinking you were going to get but for me, to be honest, the Coaching Collective turned me around. It’s a six month program of the Coaching Collective, but in the beginning of it, we did so much work around our values, what we wanted, and deciding the things that were unique to us, that it honestly turned me around and pointed me in the direction that I didn’t even know that I wanted to go. That’s the advice I would give is do the Coaching Collective. And the end, that’s all?
Molly Claire: Well, I love it. Of course, I agree. I think that because Amy and I have talked so much about the mastermind and how the mastermind follows the collective. And I know some people want to do the Mastermind, but we see that the Coaching Collective program lays such a foundation. And for those of you listening, this isn’t just about selling you on that, but I’ll give you the idea behind it is, as Heather talked about, in the beginning, we talk about those values and priorities.
And it’s like one of our coaches, Andrea Giles, who is awesome, says like, it’s like we have to slow down in order to go fast. Like everyone gets in, and it’s like, okay, let’s like, put the plan together and go put some videos out there. But let’s slow down for a minute. Let’s stop the clock. And let’s figure out what you actually want. Who you are? What is the life you want? What is the business that makes sense for you? So when you can slow down and get that in place, that’s when you can go fast. That’s when there’s a smoothness to your business. For you, Heather, it sounds like that was really what helped you commit and stay committed and plugged into what you wanted to create.
Heather Rackham: Yeah, it just helped me and the word that just always comes to me is navigate. It really helped me navigate first of all the drama in my own mind. Helps me navigate any direction that I went because I was just able to check in, well, does this fit with this in me? Does this fit with this plan that I have for me, does this fit with this in my lifestyle? Like it became my roadmap, and I feel very blessed that I ended up there and it wasn’t by happenstance, I really felt at that time, too, that I was following some intuition. Like I felt very drawn to the program and it’s the best thing I did.
Molly Claire: So awesome. Well, every time I see you post a picture hiking with your family, I’m like, there she is living her ideal life doing her thing.
Heather Rackham: I am so and I would have loved my life before, I loved all the things that I have created, the culture that I created in my family with my husband and our four kids. Like I love my life. I did not know that there could be something even better. And when I embraced that I could actually have a business, circle it in and like run my family in some way, it’s amazing. I didn’t know that I was missing this and now I feel like I have found something that I never know that I wanted.
Molly Claire: I love that. And I’m so thankful that you’re here because I feel like you’re such a good example to coaches listening, who really struggle and feel they have competing priorities. And I feel like you’re such a great example and mentor to the coaches in your community as well. All these coaches building their businesses, I think they can really look to you as that example of staying true to the life that they want as they build their business. So I just love that. Thank you for that.
Heather Rackham: Yeah, I mean, there’s no point in having a business if you’re not living the life you want, right?
Molly Claire: Yes 100%. Okay, Heather, tell everyone if they want to find out more about you, how they can find you, how they can find the directory, where do they go?
Heather Rackham: So the directory, if you go to ldslifecoaches.com, you can go on there and find an amazing coach. But if you’re a coach that wants to be listed in the directory, if you scroll to the bottom, there’s a place that is listed. The membership is closed right now. So it will be opening back up here probably in July. And you can just list yourself now, like you can put your profile in now and then be the first to know when it opens back up. So that’s what I’ve been telling people to do if they’re interested in joining the directory. Just get listed and then I’ll let you know.
Molly Claire: Awesome. So good to have you. Thank you so much, Heather.
Heather Rackham: It’s been a pleasure. You’re one of my favorites, Molly, like one of my guides in my life that has brought me to where I am. So thank you.
Molly Claire: Oh, thank you. Well, I feel the same about you. I look to you as really a good reminder and again, such an example and story I share with coaches that I work with.