Uncertainty creates a vague, dark cloud of confusion. It may be uncertainty in your coaching program or the direction you should take. It may show up as doubt that you can properly scale your business or succeed long term. It may manifest as feeling overwhelmed, lacking confidence, and even feeling fear. No matter how it crops up, uncertainty is completely normal. You should expect to experience it at some point in your coaching business, if you haven’t already.
Because uncertainty is normal, it’s wise to have awareness and know some action steps. Employing these will help move you from uncertainty to certainty, reduce worries, and boost your confidence. In this episode, I share three areas of uncertainty and offer ideas for converting to clarity. As you listen, remember that others often see you much more confident and capable than you see yourself. Despite your feelings of uncertainty, you have the skills and the tools to be positively impactful and help others at a high level. You are completely capable, Coach!
What You’ll Learn
Lack of Confidence in Your Offer
Incorrect valuation; correctly valuing the outcome, not the “how”
Lack of clarity in your program structure; it’s not about perfection, it’s about connection
Overdelivering: creating a high-level experience, not just more things
You have to be sold on it yourself first
Lack of Confidence in Yourself
Handling the voice of “I’m not sure this will work”; What does self-doubt feel and look like for you?
Answer the “what if” questions; How will you experience and handle them?
Recognize that fear is totally normal. Fear and creativity come together on the journey
Are you willing to fail by default or succeed on purpose? Inaction technically is action
Overwhelm as a Distraction
Typically stirred up by fear, know your overwhelm indicators
Get task steps specific; replace the unknown with the known
Welcome to the Masterful Coach Podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and Life Mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place. And now your host, Master coach instructor, Molly Claire.
Hey, coaches, all right, today we’re talking about a little word called uncertainty. This word just seems so innocent, doesn’t it? But it seems to wreak havoc on our lives, keep us from taking action, and it can be pretty powerful. So that’s what we’re talking about today. I’m really excited to talk with you about it because I know that it does keep you stuck so often, and brings up so much fear. And my hope today is to create a little bit of awareness around it and give you some new insights so that you can take some more action, move forward, build that business.
Before I dive into that with you, I want to take a minute to express so much gratitude that you’re here with me, I love being here with you. I know I’m not actually looking at you. I’m in my office recording this. But I’m always thinking about you and I’m thinking about you sitting in your office, sitting off in the corner of the bedroom with your laptop, because that’s the only workspace you have, or working on the couch or working on a plane or on vacation like so determined to build this business.
So wherever you are, I understand what it is like, when you are building a coaching business, I understand what it’s like when you’re trying to improve your coaching skills, really understand how to meet the needs of your clients, how to give them an experience that’s helpful to them. I know what it’s like to feel stuck with not knowing how to do sales or marketing and figuring out an online business. And I do know what it’s like to be in self doubt with limiting beliefs and wondering, can I really make this business work? Can I really scale this business? Can I really succeed long term? Or is this just been a fluke?
So I see you there, I know what you’re experiencing, and I want to just reiterate to you that the business you want to build is absolutely possible. Do not give up, keep doing the things, keep tuning in here, and you’re going to get there. So thank you, thank you so much for being here with me. And by the way, please share this podcast with other coaches that you know and love. I know, the Life Coach School just had some new graduates and I’ve heard from some of them already, they feel like okay, now I’ve just left the nest and where do I go? What do I do? So please share this with other coaches, it makes such a difference, and I just really appreciate you being able to be here with me and willing to spread the word.
So along those lines, I actually want to read two reviews that I had on the podcast, and if these reviews are you if you’re listening, email me and my team is going to send you a copy of my book. So the first one I’m going to read here is ‘this podcast is gold.’ So if this is you email Molly at mollyclaire.com and my team will get back to you. It says if you want to take the overwhelm and stress out of everything business in life, this podcast is a must.
Molly provides the best roadmap of how to do it and how to keep it long term. Oh, I when I read that I was like, I’m so glad it feels that way to you because that is my goal is really the long view of this. It goes on to say Molly not only tells you how it’s possible, but motivates you to make it happen love this podcast. And I’m so glad to hear that as well. I hope you all always leave here, feeling that more is possible for you because I know sometimes it can be easy to listen to something and get new information and feel discouraged. But my hope is always to motivate you. So this podcast is gold. If this is you please email us and we’ll send out a copy of my book.
I’m going to read one more here. I love the title of this one which asks for wisdom and it will be granted. If this is you please send us an email. It says such amazing insight loves the idea of the anchors to keep me from drifting in and out of belief with the tide, and it sounds like that’s referring to that early episode of the three anchors in your business. And I’m so glad that that is helpful for you. Because truly for all of you, no matter where you are in your business, the ups and downs and uncertainties of life and business can really pull us off track if we are not set and anchored. So I love that review. Thank you so much everyone and just thanks for all the love. Keep it going. Keep it coming.
Okay, let’s talk about certainty. So even this word uncertainty. It’s kind of like this vague, dark cloud of confusion, right? So I know you can all relate to wanting to maybe improve your program, change your program, create your program. This project ahead of you, this result you want to create is kind of like this very vague, dark, confusing thing, where there’s uncertainty in the program, uncertainty and your ability, overwhelm, wondering where you should even begin. And this week, I was coaching with one of our mastermind members who’s scaling her business, and it was like; this is exactly what she brought to our session. It’s like, we come together, and she brings this cloud of uncertainty.
As I listen to this coach, this is such a fascinating phenomenon, and I want you all to really take this in and personalize it. Okay. So as I’m talking to her, I can hear uncertainty, doubt, confusion, fear, I can hear somewhat of a lack of confidence or belief in her, which is totally normal. But what’s fascinating is, from my view, talking to her, I see her as so capable, such a high level coach, completely having the ability to not only create this program, scale this program, and build this business that she desires.
But to do it at such a high level; I see her as having so much ability to make an impact in these women’s lives. And yet, for her, it feels so uncertain. And the same is true for you. Because time and again, it doesn’t matter if those of you listening, if you’ve been my student, if you’ve been a coach in my program, if I happened to have a consultation call with you time and again, the level of confidence that you have in yourself, never even comes close to matching the level of confidence that I have in you, because I can see clearly, and I will make that claim from the outside, I can see clearly.
So be careful about allowing the feelings of uncertainty in you that are totally normal. Be aware that you don’t want to believe those too much. Yes, you can feel uncertain inside and still be extremely capable. It’s just like, I’m sure, all of you can relate to a time that a child or a friend or a colleague has come to you with a lot of uncertainty and worry and fear about something. And it’s so clear to you from the outside, you’re going to get through this, you’re capable of this, like there’s nothing to worry about, right?
So the same is true for you. And remember that when you’re feeling that uncertainty, just because you feel uncertain inside doesn’t mean that you’re not totally capable of doing that thing. So I was talking with this coach in our mastermind and really sifting through this program, and I wanted to talk through three things with you here that I see coming up so often.
So the ways often that uncertainty manifests itself is lack of confidence in your offer, kind of the sense of vagueness, I’m not really sure what the offer is, I don’t really know if this offers great. Lack of confidence in yourself; I don’t really know if I’m capable of creating this big result that I want to create and it also shows up definitely as overwhelming as a distraction. So I’m going to break these down for you, in the rest of this podcast here.
So lack of confidence in your offer often looks like this. So a client comes to me and says, “I have this great idea, and I think this is what I want to do. But I’m not sure how many videos there’s going to be and I don’t have any of the worksheets done.” And immediately the client is focusing on the things in the program, right? Which isn’t a problem like yes, there is going to be a way that each of you will facilitate your program, whether that is individual calls, videos, worksheets, audios, any combination of whatever you do.
The problem is when we hang the value of the program in these things, and we believe that 25 videos and long worksheets equates to value. When what actually equates to value is how well you’re able to help your client connect with the outcome they want. That’s where the value comes in, and there’s a sense of safety and counting on worksheets and videos, but it actually becomes a distraction for us. So if you’ve noticed this coming up for you really think about how well do I help the client connect with the outcome they want? And if I’ve done that, well, if I can provide them two videos that are five minutes that do that, well, that’s way more useful than 25 videos that are an hour long.
Of course I’m just hitting on the videos and worksheets and some of you may be thinking oh no, do I have to do videos and worksheets? I only coach people on the phone. That’s amazing and that’s perfect and that’s exactly my point. We are big on this in the Coaching Collective for each of you. You will have a way in which you want to carry out your business. And it’s really important for you to give yourself permission for your business to look the way that you want it to look. So however you carry out your coaching program with people, it does not matter. What matters is that you are focused on providing value in that you are helping your client connect with that end result. It’s about that outcome, not the details.
The next thing I see coming up very often when coaches are coming to me, is being very unclear about what the program looks like. And this is totally normal, right? Because immediately when we have something new, our brain says, I don’t know what to do with this, I’m not sure where to start, I don’t know where to go. And so really important, just when you notice that vagueness coming up for you, offer yourself the time to get a clear vision of what your program looks like. And sometimes this can be interpreted as make sure you take the time to make sure that the program is perfect, or that it’s the best program, or that it’s the way the program should be.
So if any of this is coming up for any of you perfectionists out there, just notice that what I’m suggesting is actually giving yourself some time to get some clarity on what the program will be; not the best, not the ultimate, not the perfect program. And the best way that I find to do this ironically, using that word best, the most effective way that I find to do this is to really connect with your clients for each of you to think about, okay, where is my client? And what do they need? And how am I going to create some clarity around a program that delivers for them? I think that can be really useful.
Next step is after you have that clear vision, you also want to think about how you’re going to over deliver. So over delivering does not mean giving people a whole bunch more things that they don’t need to use that are going to clutter up their inbox. Over delivering means how you create a high level experience for your client that’s meaningful for them. Okay, so don’t confuse giving them more stuff with over delivering. Over delivering is meeting their needs.
And the last thing I’ll offer you in terms of confidence in your offer is as you establish the offer, that you are going to give your client the program, whatever it is, write down for yourself the benefits. You really have to be sold on this program that you’re doing before you can sell anyone else on it. So make sure that you establish what it is, the program length and what it entails, and then write down all the reasons this is amazing for your client. And right there. If you can’t get that far, if you can’t be sold on it yourself, then you need to go back to the drawing board, and figure out what’s the program you’re sold on. And that’s when you can competently sell those benefits to everyone else.
Okay let’s talk a little about lack of confidence. So as we’re feeling uncertain about bringing in some new clients, a new program, whatever it is we’re doing, oftentimes, there’s this lack of self confidence there. And for some of you, that may be a big loud voice, for some of you, it may be quiet. For me, what this always looks like is I have this new thing I want to do, and I have all of this space in my head and in my feelings that is this is going to be amazing, this is great, I love to do this, I have this excitement, it’s going to be awesome. And then I have this really tiny, yet really loud and strong voice in the background, trying to tell me to put the brakes on it. Like how to know if that’s really going to work. I don’t think you should really do that. You imagine like the tiniest bossiest voice. That’s what it is for me. So it doesn’t take up a lot of space. But it certainly does exert a lot of power in trying to keep me from moving forward.
So I want you to think for you what this is like for you. When you’re doing that thing? What does self doubt and fear of failure coming up look like for you? And whatever that is for you; first of all, remember that fear is totally normal. If you weren’t doing something exciting and interesting and big, then you wouldn’t feel fear. That’s just the reality of it. So notice for you what it’s like and remember that fear is normal.
Something that’s really important to do here is always answer the what ifs that come up and decide how you’re going to experience this right? What if no one signs up when this happens? Okay, well, what if that happens? What experience will you create? What if this doesn’t work at all? What if that’s true? What exactly would that look like? Wrap your head around it and think about how you’re going to experience it. I can’t overemphasize the importance of doing that little practice.
And also remember that when you’re experiencing this lack of confidence, this self doubt, fear of failure, that we have to be willing to open up to feeling all of those emotions. We need to really be willing to say fear is here, and it’s totally normal, and it’s okay. There is, if you’ve ever read the book, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, she has this chapter in there where she has a letter to fear. This is like one of my favorite things.
I’ve used this with my clients before, as well, where the idea is that she says, anytime she’s doing some kind of creative endeavor, that she always knows fear is going to be there. And she basically says, it’s like fear and creativity and I am going on a road trip. And I always let fear come along. And it’s so it’s great, the way she says it, it’s kind of like fear gets to have a seat, and fear gets to have a voice. But fear doesn’t get to have a vote, right? Fear doesn’t get to dictate where they’re going, or change the radio, fear just gets to be there. So there’s space for it, but it doesn’t have a say in things.
And so I think really recognizing that and inviting in those emotions to come with you on your journey keeps you from having resistance to them, from fearing them believing that fear is something to be feared, and therefore I have to distinguish it. Rather, you can bring it along with you.
And the last thing I want to touch on with this lack of confidence is ask yourself, honestly, are you willing to fail by default? Because when we don’t take action towards something, we are by inaction taking action, right? It’s like this unintentional action, this unintentional decision by default. And sometimes that can feel very safe to us, because then somehow, we think we don’t have to blame ourselves as much or feel as bad or something. But really ask yourself, am I willing to fail by default?
Am I willing to just not do this thing? So that it’s inevitable that it doesn’t work? And if your answer to that is yes, I think you should own that. Because sometimes that is the answer. Sometimes we’re not willing or ready, right? And ask yourself, also, am I willing to fail or succeed on purpose instead? Am I willing to move towards something, knowing that I may not be sure of the outcome? I think the more you can be honest with yourself on those kinds of questions it allows you to act much more powerfully in your life.
All right, the last thing I want to talk with all of you about is overwhelm. So overwhelm when we’re feeling uncertainty is a way that we often buffer from that feeling. And overwhelm is typically stirred up by fear, right? We have the fear, fear of doubt, we’re feeling the sense of uncertainty, and contend to stir up this overwhelm. And this can look different for different people. And I want you to think for just a minute notice your state of overwhelm, what does it look like for you? Is it shutting down completely and watching Netflix? Is it crying? Is it avoiding it? Is it taking frantic action to go through your to do list? Is it buffering, doing a whole bunch of other things? Do you simply feel tired? And do you just check out of life?
I know for me, I have a couple of indications of this. Sometimes, for me overwhelmed does look like what I call frantic action, where I’m feeling overwhelmed, and so I just start doing and doing on my list, not really very thoughtful about it, not really thinking about delegating, not thinking about crossing things off, not thinking about being efficient, just doing doing doing from frantic action.
Sometimes for me, this looks like fatigue. And when I say fatigue, I mean genuine fatigue, I will feel so tired and it’s because I have emotions, overwhelming emotions that I haven’t processed or faced or dealt with. I really have to be on to myself about that, or otherwise, it seems very sneaky. It just seems like oh, I’ve just been feeling really tired lately. For some of you, it will look more like avoidant behavior, buffering, crying, all kinds of things. So really important for you to notice your state of overwhelm. Just noticing it can help you address it, because if you can see it, then you can do something about it.
Once you’re more aware of the state of overwhelm, and what that looks like for you, it’s always a good idea to have a practice of getting specific about the tasks involved in anything that you’re creating. There’s just something about that process of writing things down, and either delegating, assigning a time getting clarity on them, that is really calming for the mind. What this does is it takes uncertainty, it takes something that feels uncertain to us, and it brings certainty to it. It brings the known to the unknown. That’s why this is such a powerful thing to do.
And finally, when you’re feeling this overwhelm, make plenty of space for the thoughts and feelings you have. And this goes back to what I was saying about fatigue. I know this is a reaction for me and this is always an indicator to me that I need to do some feeling work, do some thought work, I need to do some processing, I need to make some space for all of the different things that I’m dealing with in my life. And the more that you can do this being aware of that state of overwhelm, getting specific about tasks and making space for the thoughts and feelings, this is really how you can effectively navigate that feeling of overwhelm within the space of uncertainty for you.
So all right, coaches, as always, I love to be here with you, and I’ll see you on the next episode. Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast; you can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. To find out more about Molly, you can visit www.mollyclaire.com