Books full of advice to help kids through divorce, and everything that comes after it, abound by the hundreds. But they are typically written from an adult perspective, not necessarily a kid’s. Daisy Freestone is changing that with her new book, A Kid’s Guide to Divorce and Life After It: Tips, Tricks and More

Daisy Freestone is my daughter and she’s written and illustrated a book full of tips, tricks, thoughts and feelings regarding divorce, all from her own perspective. It’s set to launch very soon and we’d love the support of everyone listening to help make the book a bestseller on Day #1. You can sign up to purchase at launch, help us spread the word, and even to interview Daisy. 

In the meantime, I thought Daisy could provide some valuable insight for us coaches. As we coach, we deal with emotions and thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. So I asked Daisy to share some of her experiences and thoughts for helping people and changing lives, no matter your age.

“What if I sound weird? What if people can’t relate to this?… Do I even know what I’m doing here?… And I think that might be something coaches experience a lot building their business… I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t trust myself to do this… I can’t do this. I’m going to sound weird to my clients. And I don’t think that’s true. Everybody is just working hard and trying to do our best. And it will always turn out great.” – Daisy Freestone

What You’ll Learn

  • What inspired you to write the book?
    • Some parts of divorce are easy and bonuses, some are not
    • Personal growth, depth and meaning
    • Passionate about sharing her experiences and connecting with other kids of divorce
  • What impact do you hope it has?
    • The reaction to Daisy’s book and sharing her story
    • Sage advice voice that motivates
    • Help with hypotheticals and realities
  • What was your biggest challenge and how did you move past that?
    • Doubts, concerns, uncertainty
    • Love and support, get rid of negative voice in her head
    • Finding motivation to complete it
  • Most fun part?
    • The cover contest
    • Connecting with other kids
  • How has it been sharing your own experience and story?
    • A special and healing experience
  • What advice would you give for someone nervous to do something big?
    • Trust the process, trust yourself
    • You’re never alone

Connect with Daisy Freestone

“Hi, I’m Daisy and I can’t wait to share my book with you!  It’s a Kid’s Guide to Divorce (and what comes after) and I’ve written it from my perspective. Will you help me spread the word?”

Connect with Ignite Press (book publishing) and Everett O’Keefe

Connect with Molly Claire

Transcript

Molly Claire: Welcome to the Masterful Coach Podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place; and now your host, master coach, instructor, Molly Claire.

Hey, coaches, I have a special treat for you. And for me, as well, as I had the opportunity to interview my very own 11 year old daughter, Daisy, as her book is going to be coming out in the next few weeks. She has written a book from her perspective, a kid’s guide to divorce and life after and it’s got tips, tricks and more in there. And it’s really been an amazing process for her. And I wanted to have her come on and talk with all of you about this, because similar to the challenges that you all face, as you put yourself out there, as you help people, and as you move into this space of changing lives, she’s experienced a lot of these same things. And so I thought this would be a really fun way to introduce her to all of you, and share this work that she’s done.

Before we dive in, I want to make sure that you all know where you can get a hold of this book. I would love support from all of you. She will be launching her book in the next few weeks, and I will definitely be announcing it. But if you go to www.daisyfreestone.com you can sign up there to be on the list to be the first to know when her book is released. And this is actually a big deal because when we have people buying the day that her book is released, it increases our chances of her hitting bestseller status on release day, which is a big deal. So I would really appreciate the support for her. There’s also an option on that page for you to say yes, I want to interview her on my podcast or yes, I want to email my list about the book when it’s coming out. So if you are interested in purchasing her book on launch day, or in spreading the word in any way, shape or form, go to daisyfreestone.com and we appreciate so much your help and support. All right, here we go. The interview with Daisy starts now.

Hey, everyone, welcome to quite possibly my favorite podcast interview ever. I have the privilege of having my 11 year old daughter Daisy here today. Say hello, Daisy.

Daisy Freestone: Hi, and thanks for having me today. I’m so excited to be here.

Molly Claire: This is so fun. So Daisy is here. I know this is a little out of the ordinary for this podcast. But Daisy has self published a book, it is going to be launching in the coming weeks, written and illustrated by her and it is all about helping kids to get through divorce and the process of life settling in after divorce. So I wanted to bring Daisy on because just like all of you building your businesses, she has a heartfelt message that she’s bringing. She has been working to overcome all kinds of challenges staying on track with the book, overcoming fears and doubts and frustrations and all of those amazing things that we do as we create something; true Daisy? Yes, if you could all see her eyes are big right now.

Daisy Freestone: Yes, this is very true and everyone has all these struggles and you’re not alone in it. 

Molly Claire: That’s right. So I wanted to bring Daisy on so that she could share a little bit about what it’s been like for her as perhaps the world’s youngest self help guru coach, whatever you want to call yourself, right Daisy. So we’re just going to dive right in and in the show notes, I will make sure to have available the information as to how you can all find her book and all of that good stuff. But we’re just going to dive in with some questions. Prepare to be inspired.

All right, so Daisy, first of all, what was it that inspired you to write on this topic in particular, of helping kids get through divorce?

Daisy Freestone: First of all, everyone here should know that since I was about four or five, my parents had been divorced. So I’ve pretty much been dealing with that for as long as I can remember, and some parts of it are easy or easier than others and some parts that are even fun or like bonuses that other people with non divorced parents don’t get, and they’re also things they get that kids with divorced parents don’t…

Molly Claire: I want to pause because I love Daisy that you are really pointing out both sides of this.

[00:05:00]

And I think one of the things this is part of what you bring is sharing with your audience, some of these ways of experiencing this process that can both acknowledge the challenges and also really appreciate the good. So I just think that I love that you’re starting off with that, because I think it’s really a big part of your book.

Daisy Freestone: Thank you so much.

Molly Claire: So anyway, so back to back to your story, how this came to be?

Daisy Freestone: So some parts are easier than others, some parts are definitely very difficult, and I think a lot of it has really helped me to grow as a person. And when I was in fourth grade, we were doing informational writing, like guides, or how to on things that we have that us, personally, everyone in the class, not as a class, we were each writing our own, that we each individually were to pick a topic that we had a lot of experience with. We did quite a few I think I did – I can remember four that I did.

And so we had finished three, or maybe two, and I was on my third or fourth one and I was really stuck on a topic to use, and I was like, what? I felt like my other topics had been good, but they just weren’t really something that I was passionate about; like sharing with the reader my experience with that and my personal advice. They were most mostly just guides to like, games that I played, or places I had been, or things I like that to do , that didn’t quite have as much depth or maybe they weren’t really personal. They were personal things that I enjoyed, but not that deep.

Molly Claire: Like sharing your experience an really some wins

Daisy Freestone: Yeah. So I was just thinking, and then I thought, divorce. Like, that’s one thing that I’ve had so much experience with that I can just really relate to other people in that situation and I can really share how I feel.

Molly Claire: And I want to back up a little bit because Daisy and I just like a couple months before, we had been out on girls night together, and we had talked about writing a guide together; a mother daughters guide to getting through divorce. So it has kind of already been on our minds a little bit, and so I remember when Daisy first came home with this amazing writing for kids about divorce, and I read it and I remember just thinking, this has to go into print now. We can’t wait until she and I collaborate and create something together.

We will write it’s still in the works Daisy, it’s going to happen one day. But I just remember reading the words, and just like all of you, as coaches write from your heart, as I read the words that you had written Daisy, I just remember feeling like, wow, this is a message that needs to be shared. So it’s just a fun memory that I have. And in fact, I remember that- you remember this Daisy, you came home and I immediately took a picture of it, and I sent it off to Everett, who I’ve worked with my book on and shared with others and said we have to do something with this- so much fun.

Daisy Freestone: Yeah, I remember, we worked on each book for about a week. We were doing this for a while it was a long unit writing and we’d start out with like a rough draft and then we keep going in. I felt good about the work. I felt passionate about it, but it wasn’t like a real book yet. I wasn’t even thinking about that then. It didn’t have that kind of depth that a real book did but I was so passionate about it. I was like, ‘Yeah,’ and I was pretty proud of it and I brought it home, and I asked my mom to read it and she looked at it.

She looked at the pictures and she was like, “Oh my Gosh, this is perfect.” She’s like, “This is so good.” And I just remember, she looked me straight in the eyes and she was like, “Daisy, we have to publish this.” And I was like, I just kind of thought about it and I was like, “Heck yeah!” I just knew it would be such a fun, even though complicated process for a 9, 10 year old, which is how old I was at the time- I’m 11 now. But I was like; this is going to be so fun. And my mom had already published this incredible book for moms ‘The Happy Mom Mindset’ go check that out if you haven’t read yet.

[00:10:00]

So I knew that she would guide me through it, and together, we would just end up creating this amazing book and so she reached out to Everett, who she’d worked with on her book before. He works at Ignite Press, which is a really good book that we did.

Molly Claire: I actually interviewed Everett a couple of weeks ago, so and I’ve referred a lot of people to him.

Daisy Freestone: The publishing people?

Molly Claire: Yes. Daisy, I think also, as you were talking about your start to this, and I’m thinking this is something I know a lot about. One thing I know that you’ve shared with me, as you’ve talked with people at your school about your book, is that you didn’t realize how many other kids were also kids of divorce. It’s been a little surprising to you, right?

Daisy Freestone: Yeah. I read books; nonfiction books, and fiction books about kids who have been through divorce, and how there’s a lot of those and nonfiction books that talk about a lot of kids go through it and even give like some more specific numbers that means a lot. But just that I didn’t really get, but I knew that there were a lot of people…

Molly Claire: But not right there in your classroom, you just didn’t realize.

Daisy Freestone:  I know and I was like, there were some people. So I had the book cover contest and…

Molly Claire: Hold on, I want to pause on that for just a second. Because I want to talk more in depth about the book cover contest. But before we do, I want to just put a pause, and will you share with the audience what your book is called?

Daisy Freestone: So my book is called A Kid’s Guide to Divorce and Life after It; tips, tricks, and more.

Molly Claire: Yes, so it’s all a book written from your perspective what it was like for you?

Daisy Freestone: Everything in is illustrated?

Molly Claire: Yeah, that’s right. She did the pictures as well. So amazing, and yeah, it’s really, to let other kids know that you’ve been in their shoes, and in some ways you haven’t been in their shoes, because their situation is different. And that’s one of the things that I love about this book. And then also, I think a lot of my audience, you coaches can relate to, that in some ways, our clients have so many similarities and in some ways, they’re also these differences. But no matter what differences there are, you can have this appreciation for the challenges that come. So I think that’s one of my favorite things about the book.

Daisy Freestone: And when I was just going to say, I know we are going to go into the cover contest in depth later. I just want to say real fast, I had the contest, and I wasn’t going to go into more about that, because we’re doing that later. But I was just going to say there were lots of kids from my school, who voted to help- and we’ll explain that later, who voted to help…

Molly Claire: That’s okay; we can talk about it now.

Daisy Freestone: And I saw everybody from my school, all these comments rushing in, and there were some kids who, I don’t know, I just kind of I didn’t even think that- I don’t know, I just- it surprised me. So many of my friends and even the people who I like barely knew didn’t know that well, I just kind of like, never knew there were so many people that I knew that I am around every day that are having, or have had this experience. It was really surprising.

Molly Claire: The pricing for you, yeah. So the cover contest was where Daisy, there were several cover options, and she shared it with people at her school. And of course, the teachers were so excited to share it, and I think all the kids in your grade voted on it, right Daisy at least or more. So yeah, I think we ended up having about 500 votes just on the cover contest and it was really amazing like Daisy was saying to hear from people that had gone through the same thing and were saying I wish I had this book when my parents got divorced. And again, I know that Daisy believe it or not, this is so relevant for my audience of coaches because Daisy, you were brave enough to put your message out there.

Daisy Freestone: Share my story.

Molly Claire: Yeah, and share your story. You’re able to connect with people that you otherwise would never have connected with, and give them something meaningful. So I just think it’s really amazing. So Daisy, what impact do you hope this book will have on others on kids going through a similar situation?

Daisy Freestone: I hope it just inspires them.

[00:15:00]

I just want people to read it. My dream, I know this is a lot to ask but I want to be one of those authors or one of those people, that when someone is in a tough situation, or they’re struggling, they take that author or persons words, and they’re just in their mind, and that is what they use every day for motivation and to get them through the struggles. They just take a deep breath and they remember some sage advice that I didn’t realize was that sage that I gave to them in my book. I really hope they take that and it’s just in their brain, and they just think I’m not alone. I can do this.

Molly Claire: Yeah, well, Daisy, one of the things that I say all the time to my coaches, who I train and teach and work with in my group, is that as coaches, we become the voice inside our client’s head. My clients say that all the time, they’ll say, I can hear your voice inside my head. This is something that I’ve said many times, and that’s exactly what you’re talking about, right? You want to be that voice in their head that inspires them, that helps them to know they’re not alone, and I think that’s amazing. I think that’s a great thing to hope for your book.

Daisy Freestone: Yeah. But that’s like what I really want, it would be great if people would just read it, recommend it and try to use it to help them. And I really hope it doesn’t bore them because I’ll admit, I am definitely more of a fiction person, myself. Nonfiction is definitely not something I would gravitate towards so I hope it’s something that drives people, that people would think to just pick it up and just try it out, and I really hope it’s not boring. But I try to be entertaining, but still helpful and not totally off track or wacky can kind of look crazy.

Molly Claire: I think that some of the great things about it are that it really talks to your personal experience, and acknowledges differences in experiences. It shares some hypothetical to help kids get used to what may happen, for example, parents dating, again, those kinds of things. And I love that you also give those tips; here a few quick tips, here are some things for you to try. So I love the way it’s written in the pictures too which we’re going to talk about in a minute. So one thing I want to ask Daisy is what would you say is the biggest challenge that you faced in the process of bringing this book together?

Daisy Freestone: I think, and honestly, Mom, you might not even have known this. But I was kind of worried about and this wasn’t the hardest part. But it was a little bit of a challenge for me. I was worried when I was writing it like what if I sound weird? What if people can’t relate to this just kind of doubts about? And some points I was like, do I even know what I’m doing here? Like just nervous about that, and I think that might be something that coaches experience a lot building their business too.

Molly Claire: Oh, yeah, all the time.

Daisy Freestone: I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t trust myself to do this. I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t do this. I’m going to sound weird to my clients, and I don’t think that’s true. Everybody is just working hard and trying to do our best and it will always turn out great.

Molly Claire: How would you say you were able to move past that? 

Daisy Freestone: I just kind of closed my eyes and I just thought well and hyperactive mind like mine there’s not really as in place, but as close to that as I could get. I just think I can do this. I have so many people who love and support me, and even if this book totally bombed, which it is absolutely not going to, I still have all this loving support and this is like great experience for me. And sometimes I felt like you know what, I just need to let this go. I can do this and I need to get rid of that little voice in my head that’s going, ‘Hey, what are you doing? You don’t even know what you’re doing. You’re so bad at this, you’re terrible you need to quit.’

Molly Claire: I love that you shared that.

[00:20:00]

You’re exactly right. That is what happens for just about everyone, and I think one characteristic Daisy that you for sure have, and I think is so useful for all of you listening to think about is Daisy, you are one of the most determined people I have ever met. And so I think that it’s so important to remember that it doesn’t matter how much noise is in your head, how much fear or how much doubt that you experience, when you are determined to make that end goal happen, you will move through all of that. And that’s really what you did. And I just love it. Love it, love it. Daisy, tell us a little bit about what has been the most fun part for you of this entire process?

Daisy Freestone: All right, and before I go into that, I just want to say one more thing about what’s challenging. But I think another challenging part was the artwork, and I know we’re going to talk about that in a minute. But it was very difficult, because I just feel like I’m so close to the end. Like, I’m so close, and I felt like it was kind of like teasing me. Like you’re so close, you’re almost there. And I found myself trying to find the motivation for it and I felt like I just didn’t have it. I felt like I had zero motivation, and then every time I would sit down to do it, I feel like I’d waste my time and get distracted, and it was very difficult for me.

Molly Claire: Yeah, I think that art work was something you decided to do, and we had many conversations about it right? Not all of them positive because it kind of felt sometimes like we’re working to get this book done on time, and then you feeling a lot of pressure, and worry about the artwork and decisions, and it was a pretty big deal to get through all of that for you.

Daisy Freestone: That was a little bit of a struggle to be honest. I only just finished it a few days ago, after working on it. [Crosstalk 00:22:15] It was just really difficult, and we did have a lot of conversations about it. Some of them we spoke a little louder used a little more harsh words, because we love each other, and we are such a great team. But that doesn’t mean we’re perfect together. We don’t always agree. Let’s be honest, not all of them were conversations, a lot of them were more like arguments. But we were able to work past it and we were both feeling a lot of worry and pressure about it. It wasn’t just her, it wasn’t just me, both of us were having some pretty difficult feelings about it. But we did it and we made it through and so yeah.

Molly Claire: Awesome; so awesome. And the artwork is amazing. It’s like just every time I would see a piece of artwork you got you all can hear I am gushing a little bit over her, I’ve realized this, but hey, I think she’s very gush worthy. So I’m excited for all of you to be able to get the book in your hands, because she really did put so much into this artwork, and it’s just so unique and so meaningful and awesome. So, okay, so back to Daisy, tell us what has been the most fun part about this?

Daisy Freestone: I think I really like doing the book cover contest. I know, we’re going to go into that was so fun, to keep bringing all these things…

Molly Claire: Talk about the cover contests and why you liked it?

Daisy Freestone: So basically, we did it on a website called 99 designs, and we were able to go on a Zoom meeting much like this one with the creative coordinator of my book…

Molly Claire: We were able to really kind of tell her some of the things that we wanted on your cover.

Daisy Freestone: Yeah, and we actually went through this little survey ish thing, and I got to click on some different covers for different books that I really liked too, and I gave her a little bit of an idea of what kind of styles I wanted. And then there was this page and all kinds of people, designers for book covers got to post ideas for their covers. And every day me and my mom have looked at it and see what new covers had come in, and we would give them feedback and ratings on their covers. And over the course of a week, we kept looking at it.

[00:25:02]

And I’m pretty sure that’s all it took to pick my book cover. Like on that Friday, after inviting kids at my school to give their feedback on different covers, like, basically how it worked was we looked at all the covers, and I narrowed it down to six or five of my favorite cover designers, and then, I chose five of my favorites and we did a poll for anyone with the link, we shared the links all kinds of places to vote on which cover they liked best and comment and give stars and give reasoning and their comments and everything. And I really loved it, because I got to see all the kids at my school commenting, which I really loved. Just all my friends and even the people I barely knew just like saying hi to me, all the teachers, even teachers who weren’t in my grade, like teachers from all over the school and I think my principal, it was just so nice to have this sense of community and all these people who really cared about this.

I love art, and kind of designing and all that kind of stuff, just to see the different covers and everything else and just to really see it and get to pick one, which I really liked even though I’m indecisive. It was really fun to get to choose and think about it and see all these different designs and ways that we can do that for my book. Because I feel like a cover is what really grabs the reader; when they see a cover, you can write a really good book and no one will ever pick it up because the cover is just like, it doesn’t draw attention. It’s not really just like man! That’s really interesting to see all the different ways that designers had like, put my book on a single, like all of it, just everything just put into this one.

Molly Claire: I feel like your cover really brought the essence of your book to life. It was really fun when it was kind of like when the one came. That’s the one right? The colors, the feel, the vibe, the energy, everything; so it was really fun experience; so fun to do that together.

Daisy Freestone: We did have an option not to do the poll, and I still wanted to see what everyone thought. But I feel like I was pretty certain when it came in. I remember looking at that mean, like, ‘Mom, should we just drop everything and pick it now. I feel like this is the one.’ I just felt so drawn toward it and held to it. There were so many other good covers that I loved, and everything. But I just felt in that one moment when I first looked at it I was like, I think that’s the one.

Molly Claire: But the poll was so much fun, because it was really what drew out. Not only the support from everyone, which is so fun, but also you really connecting with kids that have had a similar experience. So I think it was just amazing.

Daisy Freestone: I did really feel drawn to that one. There were several others that I also felt drawn to that I really liked. So I think I’m glad I did the poll. I get into making that one. But I’m glad I did the poll still because it did help me decide. I care what these people think because I feel like all the people who commented would kind of know what a reader would want and need. But I think it also was about what I wanted. It’s not just about what everyone else thinks. But I think their feedback really helped me.

Molly Claire: Okay, I’ve got two more questions for you, and then we’re going to wrap up this interview. So one thing I want to know is how this has been for you, personally, sharing your own story? I know for me, and a lot of the coaches listening, sharing your own story can sometimes be a very healing experience, very meaningful. I’m wondering for you, how has this been for you sharing some of these personal aspects of your life and your experience?

Daisy Freestone: So I think some of it has been a little bit difficult for me. A lot of kids are embarrassed or they don’t want people to know that their parents are divorced. I don’t really feel that way. I don’t really mind sharing that, but I think just some of my really like, all some of my really personal experiences. So the book is I say a little bit about like my experience in each chapter. But it’s mostly advice but at the beginning, or is it at the end? I think it’s at the beginning…

Molly Claire: Where you share your story?

Daisy Freestone: It’s like my story and writing about some personal things. I didn’t really even think about it but now that I think about it– well, I did think about it.

[00:0:00]

What I mean is now that I’m thinking about it, there are some things that like, I just kind of flew through it, typing it, and I put a lot into it. But there are some things that I am now thinking about, and I’m kind of nervous, that’s going to be shared with, not the world but a lot of people.

Molly Claire: Well, for what it’s worth, Daisy, I think it’s amazing, because I remember when you were writing your story, the beginning part of it, that was a section that you got stuck on a little bit. The other parts of the book, kind of the tips and covering these topics seem to flow pretty easily for you. But then with the part about sharing your story, just like with all of my coaches and my audience, was a little more challenging, and I think it’s amazing. So hopefully you realize that it’s so meaningful for people to hear and see the real you, so amazing.

Daisy Freestone: I didn’t realize it until a lot of the staff members at my school like my coaches and different teachers for like art and music were asking me about it, and one of my coaches in PE, we were talking about it, and she was like, wow, this is amazing. And one of the things she asked me or kind of said was like, ‘Just writing about the sharing your story and giving all this advice, and when you’ve been through divorce your whole life, it must be such a healing experience.’

And I hadn’t really thought of it that way. I just thought of it as you know, sharing and giving advice. But I think when she said that it just kind of clicked in my mind that it is a really special and healing experience for me. And I think it’s a good experience with like being an author and some of these real life things are really important even at what most people would call a young age. Let’s be honest, I’m only 11. But yeah, it just is a really special feeling experience, and I think it’s really important to me to just pour all my heart and soul into this and have people read it and know all my advice and experiences.

Molly Claire: Awesome. Okay, Daisy. So I have one more question for you. For my listeners who have been afraid to do something big, maybe it’s writing a book or starting their podcast, or starting their business, maybe they’ve been listening to this and haven’t started it for all the people listening young or old, are talking to you some big thing that they’ve been scared to do, what advice would you give them? What would you tell them?

Daisy Freestone: I would look straight into their eyes like you did that one day that one thing you told me we had to publish the book, and I would say, ‘Look at me. I know you’re nervous. I know you’re scared. I know this is hard for you. I know or maybe I know, you haven’t had the time for this or you feel like you haven’t. Or maybe you’re kind of putting it off or not wanting to make time for it.

Whatever the situation is, with being nervous about starting something new; trust the process. And trust there’s always even though it might not seem like it, there’s always people around you that love you and are supporting you cheering you on always, and you’re never alone in whatever you’re doing. There’s always someone else who is having the same struggles or very similar struggles and very similar experiences to you. So just trust the process. Trust yourself and know that you can do it.

Molly Claire: Awesome. Thank you so much, Daisy. So of course at the beginning of this podcast, I had left the information about how you can sign up for Daisy’s book, and it’s in the show notes as well. So thank you so much, everyone for being here. And thank you, Daisy, such an amazing time to be with you. So proud of you!

Daisy Freestone: Yeah, it’s so great and really exciting. Just having a lot of thoughts swirling around in my mind about this and just get all out and share all this exciting information about my upcoming book with all these people.

Molly Claire: Right, thanks, Daisy.

Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast you can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. To find out more about Molly, you can visit www.mollyclaire.com