Every coach needs support. We all need help, advice and encouragement to build an ideal business for our life and our values. As we lead up to opening enrollment in The Coaching Collective in 6 weeks, I’ll be briefly covering 6 topics we work with in-depth in The Coaching Collective. For this weekly series, I’m calling them The Big Whys. In this episode (Part 1), I discuss 3 fundamentals to master your coaching. 

In mastering our coaching, we must first honestly assess our skills and abilities. The good, the needs-work-yet, and the insecurities. Then we must face and address how those insecurities are impacting our mastery, our business, and our clients. While addressing insecurities, we can also employ these 3 fundamentals to mastering your coaching and, together, build a stronger, more impactful business.

What You’ll Learn

3 Fundamentals to Mastering Your Coaching

  • #1: Nurture relationship with your client
    • Operate only with care
    • Protect confidentiality
    • Foster safety through consistency
    • Connect, value, understand
    • Go deeper into their why
  • #2: Create space to be with your client
    • Give space to emotions
    • Remove judgment and allow thoughts to flow
    • Drop the rope
  • #3: Bring perspective to your client
    • Brainstorm, bring concepts, offer understanding
    • Establish relationship first
    • Carefully transition to challenging

Join The Coaching Collective! Enrollment for our new session (beginning in April) opens in just 6 weeks. Get on the WAITLIST and mark your calendar to secure your spot. 

Connect with Molly Claire

Transcript

Welcome to the Masterful Coach Podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and Life mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place, and now your host, master coach instructor, Molly Claire.

Hey, coaches, welcome to today’s episode where I am going to help you master your coaching by focusing on three fundamentals. Everything I’m giving in this episode can be put to use immediately, I want you to consider these fundamentals, and think about how you can incorporate these tips into your coaching practice immediately. So that is the idea. And by the way, I’m really excited to announce that in six weeks, we open enrollment for the Coaching Collective.

The Coaching Collective is, in my opinion, the ultimate program for coaches building a business, fellow master coach, Aimee Gianni, and I who have trained hundreds of coaches and master coaches and written training curriculum, and worked with so many coaches building their business, and also, while we have built ours, we have created this program to give you amazing support. And the focus of the Coaching Collective is not only on helping you to create a business that is ideal for your life and your values, and that is unique to you, but we also focus on helping you to master your coaching skills, which is why I’m focused on this today in particular.

So over the next six weeks, I am going to be focusing on six big why’s that are at the heart and soul of our program. And these are really the six compelling reasons that any coach should consider joining the collective if you’re wanting to build a business that is long term. As a coach, we all need support, we all need guidance, and these six topics that I’ll be covering are crucial to your success, not only in changing the lives of others, but in creating that ideal business for you. So that’s what we are going to be focusing on over the next six weeks, these big why’s starting with the opportunity to master your coaching. So, let’s get into it.

So I want you to think for a minute about your level of coaching skill mastery. Think about the coaching tools that you’re good at, think about where any insecurities come in, think about where some of the gaps are in your skill mastery. And as you think about this, I want to share with you something that’s a little bit embarrassing, but true. And that is that I remember when I first became a coach, I had completed my coach certification, and I thought I was pretty awesome at coaching to be honest. You can call it overconfident.

But I remember talking with Aimee because she and I were both going to be joining master coach training at the same time. And I remember saying to her, “I’m really doing this for the business stuff, because I think I’ve really got the coaching stuff down.” And it is so funny and a little embarrassing to think back and admit that because while I was doing a great job as a coach, I did not even begin to realize that my skills had barely scratched the surface, and I didn’t realize what would transpire in the coming years that my skills would expand and deepen, and the work I would do would end up being some of the most soulful shifts in my clients and in me, that I had ever experienced. And so what I’ve come to learn since is that while I am very confident in what I offer to my clients, I also know that even now, seven years into this, and all of the training and all of the teachings that I’ve done, I’ve only scratched the surface.

So wherever you are in your coaching mastery, I encourage you to always be learning, always be up leveling, learn from the best, and open up to new ideas. So as I dive into mastering your coaching and these three fundamentals today, I want you to go back to the questions that I asked just a couple of minutes ago. And I want you to think about how your coaching ability plays into your ability to actually sell people on coaching with you. And it could be that the confidence that you have is helping you to sell your coaching, and it could be that some of the doubts or the ways that you believe you’re lacking in your skill mastery are keeping you from powerfully selling your coaching.

Because the truth is that because while it might seem obvious, coaching skill mastery or lack of, can really get in the way for you as a coach. I’m sure that any of you listening have noticed at times that there can be noise in your head that can impact your coaching sessions, those fears, those doubts, the wondering, ‘Am I really helping this person?’ And I’m sure many of you have experienced that insecurity of fear that you can’t really help someone, or that your skills aren’t up to par getting in the way of your sales calls. And the reality is that if you’re lacking skill mastery, and or confidence, it’s going to impact your coaching, right?

A lack of skill mastery can impact your confidence in your coaching sessions, confidence and certainty when you sell and make offers. And honestly, it really just provides a very shaky ground on which to build your business. Beyond all of that, I believe we have such a great responsibility as coaches. Think about it, we become the voice inside our clients heads, we are working with our clients emotions, and with their thoughts, the most intimate parts of them, it is so important that we do it with care. And this is really the reason why I am so passionate about helping you with this. So, let’s talk about these three fundamentals of coaching mastery.

The first fundamental I’m going to talk with you about today is the relationship you have with your client as the foundation for all of the work that you do. Think about the clients that you’re working with, or anyone that you’ve been coaching recently, and what it is that compels them to reach out to you. Most of the time, when a client reaches out to a coach for help, they’ve already tried a lot of other options. Sometimes they feel desperate, they feel frustrated, they’re ready for change, they’re not sure what to do, and they’re looking to you as the solution to the pain in their life. They’re looking to you to help them to achieve what they so deeply desire. This is kind of a big deal, and when your client is coming to you with so much vulnerability, it’s very important to establish a relationship with your client that gives the client a sense of safety, connection, and a shared goal.

Let’s talk a little bit about safety, and what that means. Part of creating a safe space for your client is leaving judgment out of the session. It’s always protecting confidentiality of the client, and also protecting confidentiality in all areas of your practice. This is a big deal, and I think this sometimes gets missed in too many coaching practices. But when your client knows that you value their confidentiality, it allows them to be a little bit more open as they feel that sense of safety.

You can also consider how consistent you are for the client. Now this may seem like no big deal. But when you as a coach, have a coaching practice where you’re consistent, where your client knows what to expect, when they know when you’re available to them, they know what your policies are, and how you uphold those, it gives the client a sense of safety because they can count on you to be consistent. It’s such a small thing, but it makes a bigger difference than you might realize.

So as you’re considering the relationship you have with your client, you can go ahead and think about what are the ways in which you create a safe environment for your client. Another thing that’s important for that relationship is the connection you have with your client. And this means that the client is able to feel the sense of being heard and understood by you. It’s really important to take the time to make that space. I’m going to talk more about this in a minute, actually, the second sentiment is that space. But you want to make sure that part of the relationship that you create with your client includes a sense of connection with them, which means that they feel heard, they feel valued, they feel understood.

The other thing that I want to offer up to you as you think about how you build this relationship with your client, is make sure that you always have that common goal in mind. Your client comes to you with something they want or something they don’t want in their life anymore, and while it’s great to have that goal in mind, as a coach, you can go a little deeper than that and really understand why it is they want that goal. And the more you can understand and get on board with helping them to achieve what they want, the more connection the client will feel with you. As you keep that shared goal in mind where you’re both working in tandem together toward what they want, it allows the client to always feel that the two of you are on the same team on the same page, even when you’re offering them a possibly contradictory perspective on whatever it is they’re experiencing.

So first and foremost, make sure you are creating a strong relationship with your clients. The second fundamental that I’m going to talk with you about is creating space to be with your clients. And one thing that we do in the Coaching Collective is we offer master your coaching calls every single week, throughout the six months. We also have two months where the curriculum is entirely focused on coaching mastery.

But all throughout the program, we are weaving in opportunities to up level and expand your coaching. And the things I’m talking about here, these fundamentals are things that we weave into that work as well. And one thing that we make a really big deal about in these calls, and that we help you explore is understanding what it really means to make space to be with your clients. So, this is the second fundamental, and I want you to consider, as I talk through this, how do you make space to be with your clients.

So, one thing that can be really important in that space from a coach-client perspective, is space for your clients’ emotions. Now all of you listening come from different backgrounds and different trainings, I know I have a very heavy following of cognitive coaches who use the top-down approach. And sometimes we can forget the value and importance of making space for the emotions of your clients. And so, depending on where you are, and how much space you leave for emotions, I want you to think about if you could experiment a little bit more with this? Do your clients feel safe and open to bring the feelings they’re experiencing?

When your clients bring emotions, do you spend enough time understanding them? Do you spend enough time for your client to process the emotions? Do you spend enough time learning from the emotions that your client is presenting? Another way that you can make space to be with your client is make plenty of space for their thoughts. It is so easy for us as human beings to be judgmental and critical not only of our feelings, but also of our thoughts.

Sometimes we don’t want to claim the things that we’re thinking. And oftentimes, if a coach is bringing up a very cognitive approach, this can exacerbate the problem, if we don’t handle it in a very masterful and artful way. You want to make sure that when you’re working with your clients, you’re making plenty of space for all of the thoughts that they’re having, all of the thoughts they’re experiencing, all of their go to thoughts. And the more we can remove judgment from the space in the session with our client, the more open your client will be with their thoughts.

Another tip I want to give you about how to make space to be with your clients is make sure to drop the rope, it can be so easy to get into a power struggle with your client, when you are wanting your client to progress in a way that they aren’t currently progressing. When you can get in that place of wanting them to move further, faster, and go in a certain direction. And whenever this happens, whenever you’re feeling that desire to pull your client forward, inevitably that will turn into resistance in the session, and some level of power struggle.

And so, anytime you notice that sense of wanting to pull your client, or wanting to battle for your side, or view or get your client to understand you, that’s when I want you to drop the rope and think about how you can instead understand your client, how can you go over and be with them? How can you understand what it is that they need in order to move forward rather than just trying to pull them to where you want them to be? So that is the second fundamental, make space to be with your client, their emotions, and their thoughts, and make sure to drop the rope and understand them, rather than trying to get them to understand you.

All right, the third fundamental I want to talk with you about is perspective. There’s a reason I’ve offered these up in this order. The relationship you have with your client is absolutely the most important thing and the foundation of all of your work. Space to be with your client is vital. They’ve come to you because they’re looking for a safe space for their own personal growth. The third fundamental is when we bring perspective to our clients.

Now, perspective can come in many forms, it can come in the form of sharing ideas, brainstorming, it can come in the form of sharing certain concepts that may be applicable to whatever your client is experiencing. It may be teaching something that you’ve learned, teaching research statistics that may help your client to understand their situation a little better. It can also come in the form of simply challenging the thoughts your client is having by offering some contrast.

Now the value in perspective is that until your client can see a broader view of what’s happening in their life, they won’t really be able to make any changes. Now, the problem is that too often, especially newer coaches come in, and they want to bring that perspective immediately and the client isn’t ready. The client first needs the relationship, they need the space, and once they felt heard, and once they have that sense of you being on their team, that’s when you can open up perspective. A very common mistake that I see is coaches taking the client to the complete opposite perspective of what the client is currently thinking.

Now, sometimes this can be very helpful, but sometimes it can actually add to more resistance. So, as you’re thinking about the ways that you most effectively offer your client perspective, I want you to think about an expansion of perspective, rather than a complete opposition in perspective. Because when you can play with both of those ideas, it’s going to allow you to meet more of your clients where they are more often. So, as you think about perspective, and how you bring that into your coaching, think about how you personally transition from the space you offer to be with your client, to a place where you’re challenging perspective, where you’re sharing new ideas, or where you’re teaching different concepts.

All right, coaches, this is what I’ve got for you today. If you like this episode, if you want to continue to master your coaching, make sure that you check out our mini training video that was sent out today from the Coaching Collective. Every single week, over the next six weeks, as I said, I’m going to be focusing on a specific topic on the podcast, and I’m also going to be sharing a mini training by email. If you’re not on our email list, you need to go fix that go ahead and email support@thecoachingcollective.com Christina will put you on our list and you will get that many trainings. And if mastering your coaching is something that is important to you, please mark your calendar. We are going to be doing a master your coaching week, the end of February that is totally free, and that is going to lead into the Coaching Collective program that we’ll be opening for April. So great to have you with me. I will talk to you next week on the next episode where I’m going to be sharing the next big why with you, have a good one.

Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast. You can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. To find out more about Molly You can visit www.mollyclaire.com