triggered

This morning I was triggered.

My teenager knows my guilt spot and he went for it.

He took a dig.
I was mad. Immediately mad.

The reason I was mad, is because of what I was thinking.

I was thinking…

He’s criticizing me.
He wants me to feel guilty.
He is judging me.
I’m failing as a mom.

No matter what I do, it’s not enough.
I’m doing my best, and it’s still not enough.
No one appreciates me.
It’s not fair.

No wonder I was feeling so terrible, right? That collection of thoughts flooded my mind and the result… triggered.

The reality is that he was discharging his own negative feelings.
Maybe he was criticizing or judging me.
Maybe he doesn’t appreciate me.
Maybe he does want me to feel guilty.

I don’t really know.

What I do know is that my emotions and the way I react is my responsibility.

And it’s my job to appreciate what I do and be my own supporter. I’m not going to count on my kids to tell me I’m amazing or “make me” feel good. That’s not their job and it’s not okay to ask that of them.

I won’t delegate my happiness to my kids – it’s just not a good idea. It’s not my kids job to make me feel good. It’s mine.

Who’s in charge of your happiness today? Your toddler? Your teenager?

I hope it’s you.
Give yourself a little sunshine and happiness. You deserve it.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time.

– Molly Claire

let go of the past

Yesterday my single mom group talked about letting go of the past.

Sometimes it means letting go of someone you loved.

Sometimes it’s letting go of resentment or anger.

Or maybe even letting go of being right.

When we hang on to something from the past, we are always holding ourselves back.

When we cling to anger or hurt – it’s usually out of fear… and it’s never useful.

Can you imagine taking the energy you’re spending on anger, hurt or fear and using it to move forward and create something new?

Where are you hanging on to something and how is it holding you back? Would you be willing to release it… let it go… and invite something better into your life?

That negative energy is taking up space. It doesn’t need to.

Let it go. Make space for something new.

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

xo

-Molly Claire

miserable kids

Yesterday I asked my son to do the dishes and he was certain the world was coming to an end.

My other son is struggling with social anxiety – really struggling.

My daughter has been crying nearly every day because she hates having her dad so far away.

It’s kind of the worst when your kids are upset, isn’t it?

It’s the worst mostly because somewhere in the back of our mind, we think they shouldn’t be feeling discomfort.  We want to make it better.  We think if they are okay, then we can feel okay too.

Our kids will experience hard things – really hard things.

They will fail.

They’ll feel sadness and heartbreak.

They’ll get frustrated.

Sometimes they will question their own worth and feel totally inadequate.

And maybe that’s okay.

I know it doesn’t seem okay, but it’s a normal part of life.

The first step in really being there for them, is accepting negative emotions as part of their experience.  When you can make peace with it, rather than try to fix it – you will allow yourself to be present with them.

You can listen.  You can love them.  You can trust God that their journey is perfect for them.

Trust the process of life.

I’m working on it too.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time.

-Molly Claire

the crockpot

*Think it Thursday* and the crockpot

The crockpot is the reason my family eats. And I’m pretty good at using it. And when I say I’m pretty good I mean I generally remember to take 5 minutes to throw food in there in the morning. It’s one of my superpowers – if I can call it that with a straight face.

This summer we moved and were sort of camping out for about a month. A little time here, a little time there. We were in our new home for 2 weeks before our stuff arrived even arrived. It felt pretty chaotic to be honest. We all got to the point that we were ready for some semblance of normalcy.

When the boxes finally arrived, I quickly found the crock pot. It wasn’t so much the food, but the sense of routine that it creates that I was craving. The kids felt that life was returning to normal. I felt accomplished spending that 5 minutes in the morning.

How does routine help you? Routines don’t need to be complicated or a lot of work. They are just things we do regularly.

Routine helps you feel settled and grounded. It helps you to think clearly. It helps you focus on what’s most important, rather than reinventing the wheel every day on the basics.

Think of a routine that’s useful to you and make it happen. Enjoy the routines you already have. And please email me your favorite crock pot recipe so I can give it a try….

Have a great day – one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

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do you read these?

It’s *Think it Thursday* and do you read these blogs?

I hope you do.

Last week a woman emailed me asking about coaching. She told me that she gets more out of these short weekly blogs than she does her therapy appointments.

I was so happy to hear it! Not because of me.

(After all, I’m just the vessel for these messages.)

I was happy because she is taking the time to read them and think about how it pertains to her. She’s allowing them to make a difference in her life. The email is the same for all of the thousands of people who receive it – but she is allowing it in.

Do you allow them in? Do you open yourself up to growth and change?

I hope so. You’re amazing. You deserve good things in your life.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

– Molly Claire