Is “Positive Thinking” Keeping You Stuck?

On Saturday my lawn was mowed, trimmed, and looking great.

By Tuesday I could see some patches of weeds standing twice as tall as the rest of the lawn.  By Wednesday afternoon – three times as tall.  How is that even possible?  The saying “growing like a weed,” is no exaggeration.

The weed patches looked so similar to the rest of the grass, just thicker and taller.  They needed no special care to grow, only neglect.  The only thing it took for them to grow so tall (and so fast), was for me to not notice they were there to begin with.  They just wanted to be ignored so that they could take over.

About a month ago I had my own personal breakthrough at a coaching conference.  I had been struggling in my business in ways I didn’t understand.  I had been less engaged in my personal life too.  I was still moving forward.  Still going and told myself that I’d pull out of it.

The truth is that I had some weeds growing in my mind… that I hadn’t noticed.  I had assumed they were harmless enough.  I had figured they would go away with time.

I tried to focus on the joyful and prosperous thoughts in my mind, and ignore the weeds.

Ignoring the weeds never works.  Ignoring them is exactly what they need to get bigger, stronger, and eventually take over.

My weeds all boiled down to fear of judgement.  I’m especially susceptible to that type of weed.  I don’t want to fear judgement from others.

I want to believe that, “it doesn’t matter what others think.”
I want to believe that, “I love my decisions, so I don’t need to worry about other’s opinions.”
But sometimes… the weeds still creep in.

We all have different “weeds” that are generally our go-to.  Things like…

Fear of judgement (yes, that’s me…)
Fear of not doing enough
Fear of not being enough
Fear of failure
Comparison
Resentment
Self-pity

So what do we do with these weeds?

Here is your QUICK TIP:

Identify, Explore, Challenge.

First you must identify the weeds.

Ignoring them by talking yourself out of them or hoping they will go away… won’t work. Period.  This is just like when my weeds were trimmed on Saturday… and stronger than ever 3 days later.

Next you want to explore them. Talk about them with your coach, journal, meditate – find out all you can about when, where and why they are coming up.

Finally, challenge them.  You can decide if you really want to keep these thought patterns or not.  Question their validity.  Find out what these weeds are creating in your life… and decide if that’s really what you want.

I know today was long, and a little deep, but I believe it’s really important.  The weeds that were invading my brain have since been challenged.  When one pops up, I’m facing it head on… rather than just trying to “move on.”  It’s keeping my joyful and prosperous thoughts growing.  I feel lighter.  I’m more focused.  I’m side by side with my clients on this journey called life… and thankful to be a part of it.

I still have a couple of openings if you are ready for some summer sanity.  My bonus offer is good through the end of the week, so if you’ve been waiting, now is the time.

If you want some help with those “weeds” of yours, click here and we can hop on a mini-session together.

Thanks for being here.  I’m so grateful.

1 Small Habit to Reduce Stress

“Reducing Stress” sounds like such a great idea, right?!

But, how do we do it?

A massage?
A trip to the Bahamas?

I wouldn’t turn either of those down, but what about in our everyday life?  I could give you a list of suggestions….  But that might just increase your stress levels (not exactly what we are going for).

So, I’m going to start with 1 small thing.
N.U.T.S.

About a decade ago I learned the acronym N.U.T.S. on a news story about reducing stress.  Studies show that what adds the most amount of stress to our lives isn’t the “big” things, but the everyday Nagging Unfinished TaskS that weigh on our mind (and make us nuts!!!).

Replacing the light bulbs. Scheduling a dreaded appointment.  Finishing the project that you started… but never finished.

It doesn’t really matter what it is, if there are little things left undone in your life – they will weigh on you and increase your stress.

Don’t let this news stress you out.  (I promise that won’t do you any good…)
So, what do we do?  Do we do all of them at once?
No.
Should we start to feel even more frustrated that we have them?
Ummm… that won’t help either.

Here is your Quick Tip:

A new month and a new season is upon us.  Start fresh.
Create a list of those Nagging Unfinished TaskS and keep them handy in your planner or on your fridge.
The first thing this will do is get them out of your head and onto paper.

Next, pick 1 (or 5) to do each day.  Pick a number that is reasonable.  Chip away at them one by one, and keep this habit going from now until… forever.

N.U.T.S. will always be coming up in our life, so let’s create a habit to keep them under control… instead of letting them control you.

Will you share with me?  Email me and tell me – what’s your plan?  What’s been nagging at you that you are finally going to take care of?

Inspired by my tribe
I’m so glad you are joining me for Think It Thursday!  Each week I look forward to sharing with you how I’ve been amazed and inspired by my clients and this work.  Who is my tribe?  YOU are my tribe!
https://www.mollyfreestone.com

Trouble Getting Started… (Thursday’s Tip)

My client is passionate about her business.
She’s always energized when she works on it.

So why is it that she lacks motivation to get started?  Every time?

When I first started my business I would dread every coaching call right before it started.  Don’t get me wrong – I loved what I was doing.  I knew I was helping people every time.  I felt grateful to be able to do the work I was doing and loved each client 100%.  So…why did I dread it?

There may not be one easy answer, but it usually relates to the fears and worries that come up for us.

Our feelings drive us… it always comes back to how we want to feel.  If we anticipate uncomfortable feelings… we aren’t exactly dying to get started, right?

It’s completely worth looking into what’s going on for you.  I do that with clients all the time.  Often we can dispel whatever myths are going on in their minds that are raising a red flag and telling them, “don’t do it!”

Another great option is simple and it is today’s Quick Tip:
“Begin with the end in mind.”  (full credit to Stephen R. Covey for this phrase…)

I had an aerobics teacher several years ago who would always make sure the class noticed at the end of the workout how great we felt.  She would say, “The next time you are dreading exercise or debating about whether or not to go to the gym, remember this feeling.  Remember how amazing it is.”

This is “beginning with the end in mind” and you can apply it to about a million and one areas in your life.  Or more.

What will you feel like when you have cleaned out the closet? Think about that feeling now.

What will it be like when you have met your business goal this month?  Move toward that feeling as you get started.

Will it be more than worth it when you have created an organization system to manage the household chaos?  If so, think about that end result and how it feels… and then – BEGIN.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

Inspired by my tribe
I’m so glad you are joining me for Think It Thursday!  Each week I look forward to sharing with you how I’ve been amazed and inspired by my clients and this work.  Who is my tribe?  YOU are my tribe!

The Worst Party Ever.

Every once in a while we get tempted to have a pity party.

It seems that life is not just raining, but it’s pouring.  Will it ever stop?  How can I handle all of this?  On and on our brain goes.

A pity party seems like exactly what we need.  We want people to know how hard it is.  We want to coddle ourselves a bit and say – “this is really terrible, I know.”

Don’t be fooled by the pity party.  It’s the worst party to be invited to.  Everyone ends up sad and feeling totally powerless. Especially the host.

There is no upside to a pity party.  It’s easy to think that we “deserve” to feel bad for ourselves.  It’s easy to think we are “justified” in being so miserable.

But wait, do we really WANT to feel bad?  Do we really want to find reasons to be miserable?  The tricky thing about a pity party is that it seems like we are being kind to ourselves by having it… as if we are doing ourselves a favor.

But we’re not. Not even a little bit.

When you start to look for evidence that you should be miserable… you will always find it.
When you start to prove to yourself that things are terrible and ask things like, “why me?”  you will always feel worse.
Please cancel this party immediately.  No one ever has a good time.  And it doesn’t make anything better. Ever.

Powerful questions are a great way to let a little light into the dark tunnel of misery.  They peak curiosity in your brain and create inspiration.  Here are a few favorites of mine – take a look and keep them handy.  You never know when you’ll need a reminder that misery is optional.

What can I learn from this?
How will this make me better?
What’s the good news about this situation?
How can I use this experience to help others?

 

If you are stuck in this rut – let’s chat!  My mini-session is the perfect jump start to seeing lie in a new light.  Let’s do it. It’s free.

Have a great day – one thought at a time…

-Molly

 

 

Mompreneur… Where Two Worlds Collide

This week I’ve been re-entering my life after 8 days away training coaches.
It was magical there because we were teaching, learning and growing in powerful ways.  Working as a team. Life-changing experiences.  Everyone was on cloud nine.

Then I came home.

I hadn’t even picked up my luggage at the airport before my phone was ringing with requests from my kids.  Deadlines. Emotional emergencies.  You know, the whole nine yards.

Such a stark contrast.

It can seem that the two worlds are mutually exclusive and you have to pick which world you live in.  Am I “Mom” or a woman/entrepreneur/individual?

A lot of my clients feel this same way.  They feel torn between the demands in different areas of their life.  They feel guilty that the one they are “supposed” to like the best, is the one they most often want a break from.  They don’t see how they can blend different parts of their life, or how the two worlds can even coexist.

If you can relate, let’s tease your brain a little bit.  You know by now that I love questions, right?

So here is your Quick Tip:

Go ahead and ask yourself…
What if the two parts of your life are actually different pieces of a greater whole?
What if spending more time on one doesn’t necessarily take away from the other?
What if they benefit each other in powerful ways and the fact that you are straddling both is the best possible scenario?  What would be different?

I’m dying to see what comes up for you – hit reply and tell me!

When I ask myself these questions I have so many solutions flood my brain!

I realize that what I’ve been seeing has been very limiting.

It helps me to be so much better in all areas of my life… because I know it’s not a mistake and nothing has gone wrong.
I see that everything is exactly as it should be and success and happiness is inevitable.

 

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

-Molly

P.S. Want some help blending your two worlds?  Click Here for a complimentary mini-session.  Looking forward to it!