To our bodies, the past, present and future are all the same. Emotions that arise from situations or memories of instances manifest in the body, regardless of when they occurred in time. This phenomena allows the method of tapping to be used to help release negative emotions, such as anxiety, and to calm the body in the present. How exactly does this work?

In today’s episode, I talk with Tapping Coach, Melanie Fay, about what tapping is, how it works and how it can be used to help clients. Tapping is very connected to and complementary to personal development. We discuss reconditioning the brain, working with memories, making sense of emotions and more. Through this method, Melanie has helped me personally get clear of some of the emotions and memories that held me back. I hope you will try the guided tapping experience Melanie gives us, and go on to look into tapping further.

“Even though I’m feeling this tension, right here and right now, it’s okay to relax. Even though I feel this stress, right here and right now, it’s okay to relax. Even though I feel this tension, right here and right now, I’m okay.” – Melanie Fay

What You’ll Learn

  • What is tapping?
  • Emotional extremes take our frontal cortex “offline”
  • Relief without cognitive work
  • Actualization of yourself
  • Acknowledging you’re enough and you’re doing enough
  • Powerful shifts through tapping
  • A guided tapping experience and meditation

Contact Info and Recommended Resources

Connect with Melanie Fay

Melanie is a certified EFT practitioner and professional artist based in New York. She is known for her caring, authentic, and gentle approach to releasing long held stresses, emotions and beliefs. When you work with Melanie, you will feel her enthusiasm and dedication to her clients achieving their personal goals and feeling the peace, passion and aliveness they crave. While passionate about approaching a large variety of issues with EFT, she specializes in confidence, self esteem, anxiety, blocks to self expression and creative expression, performance fears, and shame. Melanie works with clients world wide though Zoom.

Connect with Molly Claire

Transcript

Intro: Welcome to the Masterful Coach podcast, with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place. And now your host, master coach instructor, Molly Claire.

Molly Claire: All right, coaches, well, I have an amazing episode for you today, I’m so excited to introduce my guest today, Melanie Fay. Say hi Melanie.

Melanie Fay: Hi, Molly.

Molly Claire: I’m so glad to share Melanie with you all today. Melanie does tapping, she’s an expert in it. I’ll have her tell you more about what she does. But I found Melanie and started working with her, because as I was doing cognitive work, I noticed some pretty big emotional blocks for me.

And I was going through, I would say a lot of big changes and challenges in my life, and I was really building in the support system that I needed, and Melanie has been a godsend, and I use Melanie to help me all the time. So, she’s a regular on my schedule. So, I wanted to bring Melanie to you, and share with you a little bit about the work that she does, and how it also relates to what you do as a coach, so let’s go for it.

Melanie Fay: Thank you, Molly. I just wanted to start by saying I’m so honored to be here, and really, really grateful to be speaking to your audience specifically, you know, as coaches, right? I’m a tapping coach, and I know there’s a lot of coaches listing, and everyone listening, I know is interested in personal development. And the edge of personal development can so quickly become a judgmental space for ourselves.

Molly Claire: Yes.

Melanie Fay: So I’m really passionate about sharing this tool to anyone who’s struggling with feeling like what they’re doing is good enough, or any sort of self-blame, because if there was one thing that I would love every listener to take from this call, even before we have the call, is that whatever you’re experiencing really deserves compassion.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes, yes, yes a million times. I know this is something that I work with my clients with, and yet I’ve really needed and appreciated your help with this Melanie, for me, because we’re usually our toughest critics. And by the way, it comes in such sneaky ways, right? Like sometimes, the ways we’re not really having compassion for ourselves even seem like positive or useful. And so, I love that you offer that, because truly, that self-compassion, and that warm space, that space we create for ourselves is really the foundation of any changes we want to make in our life.

Melanie Fay: I totally agree.

Molly Claire: Okay, so Melanie is amazing, and Melanie, tell us about what you do.

Melanie Fay: Okay, so, I knew this thing called tapping, where basically what it is, is you tap on a few acupressure points on your face and on your body, as you think of something that is uncomfortable. So, this uncomfortable thing could be as simple as the feeling of anxiety in your chest, it could be thinking about working with clients for the first time. It could be thinking about getting on sales calls, or it can be thinking about something that happened in your past. To our bodies, the past, present and future are all the same thing, right? So, wherever we’re thinking from logically, wherever you’re starting to feel stress around a thought, you can bring in tapping to start releasing whatever it is that is creating that stress.

So, tapping, we focus on something that’s uncomfortable, tap on these acupressure points, and what that does is it sends this calming signal to the amygdala, which is the part of your brain which is in charge of the fight or flight response. And when the amygdala is getting this signal that says, whatever you’re thinking about is okay. It’s telling the amygdala to calm down, whatever you’re thinking about is okay, it starts to condition the brain to realize that that fear that you’re anticipating is actually not happening right now.

And then the second part about this, which we actually don’t understand all the ways this part works yet, but the amygdala is right next to the hippocampus, which stores memory. Traumatic memory, whether it be big T traumas, or little T traumas, like something, a car crash, or hurt feelings, it stores that sensations of the experience in that part of the memory. And so, when we’re working with them amygdala in this way, and tapping on the acupressure points, we’re actually, what you’ll notice sometimes is that memory start to come back. And what that is, is that’s showing us what the mind is bringing up in ourselves to create that that’s justifying the fear response.

So, I’d like to give you an example about that. So, this is a simple one, but say you’re afraid of public speaking. Maybe even speaking at your thanksgiving table, you know, every time you get nervous, or you think people are going to think you’re stupid, or whatever. And you’re tapping, and you’re focusing on speaking at Thanksgiving dinner, suddenly, you notice that how you feel is small, you feel like you just want to run away. And then suddenly, a memory comes up, where you’re in third grade, and your teacher called on you, and you didn’t know the answer.

What your brain is doing, is it’s associating that experience of being in third grade, to a risk that could happen now. And it’s flooding your body with the fight or flight response, saying, danger, danger, the thing you’re about to do leads to pain, which often, for us, rightfully, is emotional pain, rather than physical pain. Sometimes it’s physical pains as well. But even emotional pain to the body, is saying, don’t go there, that’s a hot stove moment, that’s going to hurt. So, then suddenly, we can’t do the Thanksgiving speech that we want to do and tell everyone how grateful we are. That’s just a small example.

Molly Claire: Yeah, and it’s like, that’s why a lot of times, our emotions don’t make sense to us, right? Or the degree to which we feel an emotion in a certain situation. And I know with some of the work that I’ve done with you, Melanie, it’s like, what’s so amazing always is when we do tapping on something, and then I have a situation come up where it would normally trigger that emotion for me, and it doesn’t feel like that big of a deal. And so, it just feels like magic wand.

Melanie Fay: Right, right. And in this way, it is, it does feel like this magic wand, because when this happen, we are working with the part of the—like I said, the amygdala, which is in the limbic system. Which is a part of the brain that is a very different, to the midbrain, very different part of the brain than the prefrontal cortex. So, when we’re thinking about these things and tapping on the points, and processing what in there. It really is under the surface, it really is working with the body. It’s not always conscious, the changes that are making, or why it’s even happening.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes. And as you’re talking, I was thinking about…because I’ve brought Melanie into my small group, and you tap with my coaches, which is amazing, right? Because I do the coaching that I do with them, and then sometimes we’ll work through something, and I’m like, “Okay, take this to your session with Melanie,” because it’s a different process. It’s very complimentary, I think.

Melanie Fay: Right, and let’s talk for a second about why that is. I’m really passionate about this.

Molly Claire: Yeah, yeah.

Melanie Fay: Okay, I’m going to tell a little bit about my story here, coming into tapping. So, I’m 36, right? So, for my whole adult life, I’ve been very, very interested, and when I was a teenager, but very, very interested in anything sort of personal development, because I’ve always been a person with really big dreams. And so, like we all know, once you have the dream. Then you have this road, and suddenly, you see the roadblocks. And so then it’s like, yes, personal development, support, all the things. So, I was really invested in so much, and I learned so much about myself, and so much through all of it.

And then when I was about 27, I had an incredibly difficult situation in my life. I won’t go into the details, because it involves other people. But basically, someone that I was very, very, very close to was in sort of grave danger. And so, I was using all my tools, everything I knew to be there for them. To just show up for them and just be as solid as I could for them. And then they got through it, and they got better. And then two months, three months, six months, I didn’t, I didn’t get better. I was still stressed, I was still worried, I was still all these things.

And the tools I was using, weren’t helping me helping me, right? They weren’t helping me, I was doing affirmations, I was reframing the situation. It was inappropriate. What was happening wasn’t going on anymore, and my body had no idea, my body thought it was happening. So, I knew about the thing called tapping for about two years. So, I said all right, because I listen to podcasts, I’m like, all right, I’ll try it, right? So, I sat down and I tried it, and that night I slept better than I had slept in like six months.

And I woke up the next morning with like just sort of a clarity inside, and I was like, “Okay, all right, this is different for me, this is what I need right now.” And then I just cultivated the practice, and then got really excited, became a coach. But the reason why I’m bringing that up now, is because what I needed, because of what I had been through, I couldn’t do with my prefrontal cortex. That’s not to say that affirmations and meditation wouldn’t have gotten me there eventually, but it didn’t get me there fast enough for what I wanted, which was to know that I was safe again now, right?

Now, once I got into the tapping process, I found out why that situation was terrible, but I found out why it was even more terrible for me. Because it was real, that the feelings in that situation were mirrored in my childhood. So, that’s like what you were talking about, Molly, where any situation can be infiltrated and experienced in a more emotional extremes when the brain is reminded of something from the past.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes.

Melanie Fay: And when that happens, I’m going to do a little demonstration here, when that happens, you know this term, “flip your lid,” right? She flipped her lid, and she was all emotional, or whatever. That’s actually a literal thing, when we are emotionally flooded, our prefrontal cortex goes offline, and our amygdala is in control. So, that’s why for coaches, and coaching, we can do so much by thinking of things differently, and approaching things differently.

But anything where we start to notice, no matter what I do, I still have the same emotional sensation, I’m too scared, I can’t get clear about this thing, often, it’s because it’s reminding us of something, our body is saying, when you think about that thing, this dangerous thing happened in the past, we’re flooding you with this hormone, you know, these stress hormones, and you’re not able to use the brain anymore. So, that’s why it’s such a complimentary tool, because sometimes we don’t have that part of our brain.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes, yes, oh, my gosh, I have so many things to say. I feel like we could talk for a long time.

Melanie Fay: I know we could.

Molly Claire: But this is why, right? This is why it compliments it so well, because I have you in my group. I’m planning to have you in my community that I’m opening up this summer, and I have a client as well that I’m working with, right? With me, and with you, because they go hand in hand. And one of the things that I remember, when Melanie and I first started working together is, I know you coaches listening, you know how it is. It’s like, “Well, I need to just do better with my thoughts, and better with my emotions, and I know how to do this, and I should be better at managing me internally.”

And we think a lot about a lot of it as work. We use that word, like this is my work to do; do your emotional work, do your thought work. And I will say too, I know I’ve fallen into this a lot, and I hear this a lot from my clients, who tend to be very cognitive. It’s like, there’s this sense of wanting to figure it all out. And I remember being with you, Melanie, and you just sang to me, “You don’t have to figure any of this out, you just get to be here, and I’m going to do the work for you.” And I just remember for me, that feeling like such a relief, because especially when you have something there in your body, in your memories that really needs this releasing, we can just get in this spin of trying to fix it, and trying to figure it out, and trying to make it better.

And so, to have that relief of like, you know what? There’s nothing to figure out, I can just trust that this is going to help me with this, was just like really a powerful moment for me, yeah. So grateful Melanie.

Melanie Fay: Yeah, tapping is really a process, I like to think of it, because it is, a process of allowing, right? Where cognitive work, it’s creative, but there’s an efforting aspect to it, that’s natural to thoughts and effort. But with when we’re tapping, it’s really about relaxing and to be honest about what we’re experiencing. So, it’s also a process of being present to what is. And when we’re present to what is, it’s so much easier to move forward.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes, that allowing. And this is why this is so good for me. I know Melanie, sometimes when we’re working, you’re like, “Oh, here she goes, she’s my doer, she’s my figure-it-out person.” Because that’s like so much how I operate, and this like allowing has been so, so positive for me, and I’m sure for all of your clients, so, yeah. Thanks Melanie.

Melanie Fay: Yeah.

Molly Claire: Okay. So, that’s what you do, and then I was going to ask why you do it? I know you already shared some of your story, but anything to add on to that, as to why you really love this work?

Melanie Fay: Yes, okay.

Molly Claire: So much, right?

Melanie Fay: So much. And this is just…Okay, you guys, this is just from the heart, straight to this podcast world. Forever, ever since I was a little kid, I really, really, really believe that there is nothing wrong with us, at all. I really believe that.

Molly Claire: Yeah.

Melanie Fay: And within that is, I really, really believe that who we are is very important. So, for me, tapping has been one of the most powerful tools to allow myself and everyone I work with, and everyone that does tapping, and there’s many forums that do this, that allows us all to be who we are. And part of who we are is our dreams, right? I think our dreams are manifestations…First visions, right? And then manifestations of the actualization of ourselves.

And to me, I’m not religious in any format, but I’m very spiritual. I’m just going right to it. And for me, doing that, and allowing that, and creating containers for that is the most holy action I could ever do.

Molly Claire: So beautiful. I love it. I feel like it really is like sacred work. It’s like working with human souls, and showing them their greatness, their worth, their individuality. It’s just…

Melanie Fay: I a hundred percent agree, Molly, its sacred work, because who we are is sacred.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes.

Melanie Fay: And I think that’s true.

Molly Claire: I do too. I do too.

Melanie Fay: So, we want to allow it.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes.

Melanie Fay: Anyway we can.

Molly Claire: I feel like, because I know, and I’ve said this before on my podcast too, like when, as coaches, in whatever capacity we work, right? For you, it’s tapping; for me as I’m working with clients, with their emotions, and hearing their thoughts, and that vulnerability, it’s like, it feels like a very sacred space. Where you’re allowing this person to just be, and to be listened to, and cared about, and it’s really personal and important work, and so… And I guess, I hope all of you listening, whatever type of coaching you do, whatever role you play in your client’s life, don’t ever forget the importance of that work.

Because it can be really easy to get caught up in fears about our business, are we doing enough? Is it good enough? But really showing up and being with your client, and helping them to know themselves is sacred work, it’s important.

Melanie Fay: Yeah.

Molly Claire: It’s so good. Okay, so Melanie, the other thing I was going to ask you is the difference between the cognitive work and this, which I think you’ve answered, and as well as how it compliments it. Like for my coaches listening, because some of them may be thinking, “Oh no, do I do enough with the cognitive work?” I know my answer to that, I think they do, I think they serve a great purpose. But what would you say to that?

Melanie Fay: I would say ask, that’s it. So, do I do enough work? And the answer is absolutely, right? Absolutely. I have a lot of clients who are therapists, right? A lot, and sometimes they say, “This is making, you know, I’m kind of doubting what I’m doing, where it’s sometimes things like that, because they’re having different shifts than they anticipated.” And this is how I think about this, which is, every coach, we’ll just say coach, every coach and every client is like a lock and a key. And what matters is the matching up, right? Everyone needs different things at different times.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes, a hundred percent.

Melanie Fay: Different approaches at different times, different sentences at different times, and different people at different times. And so, to each coach, I really, really, really believe that whoever is in front of you, is there because you actually have what they need in that moment.

Molly Claire: Yes, I believe that to be true, that’s something I’ve talked about a little bit in relation to when I first started coaching, and I remember having thoughts like, “Oh, So-and-So would be better for this person,” and I had that same belief open up to me. Like, if someone is there with me, they are supposed to be there, I am the perfect coach for them, and I believe that to be true. And I love what you were saying, because I was even thinking about when I work with my clients, and I can tell and feel when it’s time for them to go somewhere else, like their work with me is complete. And I actually think that’s a really beautiful thing, and I think it allows us to really be powerful in our space of what we offer, and not have to question it or doubt it.

Melanie Fay: Exactly, I agree. A hundred percent agree.

Molly Claire: Yeah, totally.

Melanie Fay: Because in this way, you’re going to be totally honest, and for me, totally honest, in this way, the modality is an approach, but the connection is actually the healing.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes, yes, yes. So interesting, because that’s something I talk so much with about my coaches, like the relationship you have with your client, is the foundation. There are a lot of different modalities, right? But that relationship and that connection has to be there, and I actually had, I mean, you know this Melanie, I was working with a hypnotherapist, I was like, “Oh, I’m going to give this a try.” I did not trust the hypnotherapist, there was something that it didn’t feel like a healing relationship connection to me. And I questioned myself about it a little bit, and then I was like, “No, you know what? This doesn’t work for me,” and I started working with someone else, and it was that immediate, that connection there, which really allows space for whatever modality to work, for the healing.

Melanie Fay: Right, yeah.

Molly Claire: I would love to know just some of the most powerful shifts that you see as you work with people.

Melanie Fay: Sure, okay. Some of the really gratifying shifts are like from this last week, when someone has been struggling with moving towards a certain goal for a very, very long time. And then in the tapping, what we do is we find out what is holding them back from going towards that? I’m kind of avoiding talking specifics, but I don’t want to call anyone out.

Molly Claire: I know, right? I know, that’s why it could be a tricky question.

Melanie Fay: Yeah.

Molly Claire: Yeah.

Melanie Fay: So, let me see if I can think even farther back, just in the case that someone happens to find themselves here.

Molly Claire: And I guess, I’m even wondering, like at a higher level in general, because I know for me, one of the—I mean, well, the biggest, the greatest shift, right? Is the relationship that I have with myself, even like, not even the relationship, I wouldn’t say. For me, it’s been that self-connection, where I know me better, and I give that space and permission for me to be me. And so, I know for me, that’s the thing, right? And that’s everything for me, because it’s the foundation for everything.

Melanie Fay: Right, and then from that, comes the clear nose, right?

Molly Claire: Yes, yes.

Melanie Fay: And the space, and the things like that. So, I can sit back and safely say, some of the things, from this [inaudible 24:50]. Someone one was really struggling to do videos, right? To do videos, and having a very powerful, critical voice inside. As they were happening, we did some tapping around it and just a little bit of discovery work, and then since then, this week, they’ve been able to record video without one cut. Which, usually, there would have been 20. Another person…

Molly Claire: Wow.

Melanie Fay: Yeah, another, this actually is a really exciting one. Another person from the last little bit of time, never felt safe enough to go on vacation. And I got a text last week that she found herself on vacation, and wasn’t nervous.

Molly Claire: Wow!

Melanie Fay: And she wanted to go for years, right? And that’s a lot of what will happen too, is that you’ll look back, and be like, “Wow! I really should have been upset right now, but I’m not,” because it just clears away. I could spend some time and keep thinking about more, if you want me to.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes. It’s so good, it’s just such a gentle ease, like a gentle process, it’s an ease. And well, a lot of emotions come up too, I know, I think the first time I met with Melanie, I was just like, I don’t know, the flood gates open, and I just started crying. And I’ve referred enough people to you to know that that’s not uncommon.

Melanie Fay: Yeah, I mean, I’ll share for myself, because it’s like a sub—I mean, there’s tons for me, right? But this is one that I really like to share, because I think a lot of people, maybe women can relate. I really used to think I was ugly. I really did, I thought I was plain looking, I thought I was…I really thought I was ugly, and being on video or something like this, I would’ve just like been, had a lot of shame going on in my body.

And that’s completely changed, it’s not, and not in any sort of arrogant way, it’s like, I like myself, like I like the way I look now. It’s not a comparison, it’s not an anything, it’s a real, inside authentic feeling of I am enough.

Molly Claire: Yes. Oh, my gosh, I love that. So amazing. And then it’s like that, for you, it’s so powerful. And then for everyone else, right? Because you’re able to be here and show up, and it’s just like, I don’t know, there’s so much power, we have that inside that we can be so much more in the world, right?

Melanie Fay: Yeah, exactly.

Molly Claire: Oh my gosh, I love it. Okay, well, I know that we had talked about you doing a tapping exercise, so, I’d love to do that, unless there’s anything else you wanted to make sure to touch on or share before we do.

Melanie Fay: I just, I want to make sure that anyone out there listening knows there’s other place, there’s places you can learn about tapping, if you’re listening to this and you’re like, oh, that’s interesting. So, there’s a website called The Tapping Solution, there’s a website called EFT Universe. EFT Universe is a massive website. So, between those two, you’ll start to get a sense of tapping, if you want to learn more about it.

There’s also an app called The Tapping Solution App that has a lot of guided tapping. So, I’m going to take us through a guided tapping next, it’s the stress relief one. If it’s something that is of interest to you, those are some ways that you could access and learn more about tapping.

Molly Claire: Yes, yes, okay, I love it.

Melanie Fay: Okay. So, all that said, I wanted to make sure that you had an experience, because like me, right? I’ve learned about this for two, I heard about it for two years, and I never, ever tried. And so, there’s nothing more convincing than an actual experience. So, if you’re listening right now, and you’re able to, you know, if you’re in the car, and maybe listening to this, do this later. But we’re just going to go ahead and take a big inhale, and exhale.

Like I said, this tapping is all about being present to what’s going on for us. So, let’s go ahead and take another inhale, and exhale. Okay, go ahead and lay your hand on your heart, either leaving your eyes open or closed, whatever’s more comfortable to you, I just want you to turn your attention towards yourself. I just want you to check in with how stressed are you right now? How nervous are you? How much tension are you holding?

You might notice that your attention is going to a specific part of your body, you might notice that your thoughts are spinning. Whatever you’re noticing is perfect, it’s nothing to change, just noticing it. I want you to go ahead and give that sensation, that tension, that stress, a number from zero to 10. If 10 was as stressed as you could be, or as tense as you could be, and zero with completely relaxed. Where are you on the scale now? Knowing that we’re always on different part of the scale in any moment, but right now, where are you?

You’re going to go ahead and give it that rating, this will help us track our process. So, zero totally relaxed, 10 completely stressed. And whatever your number is, if you could go ahead and write it down—sometimes we forget. Go ahead and write it down, and if you noticed that specifically in a certain part of your body, you can write down that as well, but if not, don’t worry about it.

And now I’m going to go ahead, and I’m going to lead us through a tapping meditation. And I’m going to tap on the points, and– it’s a podcast, I want to tell them where the points are, and then I’m going to tap through them, and say we’re on tapping. So, the first point is on the side of the hand, right under the pinky, like where you would hit with a karate chop, if you were karate chopping down. Just hitting the side of your hand with three or four fingers of the other hand, and just tapping.

Molly Claire:Also, someone could always pause this, and you can just Google the images for the tapping points, like as you’re going through them, right? But if someone’s listening and they’re like, “hmm, I’m not sure,” go ahead and pause it, and you can find that too.

Melanie Fay: Yeah, great idea Molly, yeah. That graphic will come super easily. And then the next point is where the eyebrow hits the bridge of the nose, so, you know, the eyebrow that’s closer, the eyebrow that is closer to the center of your forehead, eyebrow hits the Bridge of the nose. The next point is on the side of the eye, right on the bone, the side of the eye. The next point is under the eye, again on the bone, you can kind of feel that eye socket right there, tapping on the bone under your eye.

The next point is under the nose, and above the lip. Just tapping in between, under the nose and above the lip. Then the next one is under the lip, and above the chin, you know, where that creases under your lip, just tapping there. The next one’s the collarbone, and just tap right underneath your collarbone. The next one’s under the arms, if you’re wearing one right where your bra strap would hit, it’s perfect. And then the next one is just on the top of the head, the crown, kind of back of the head there. Perfect.

Now we’re going to take a big inhale, and exhale. So, either pulling up that graphic, just googling the tapping points, and following along, or I’m going to just narrate it. I’m going to tell us where to tap, and if you can just repeat after me with whatever it is I’m saying. Okay, so tapping on the side of the hand, right under the pinky finger. You’re just going to repeat after me. Even though I’m feeling this tension, right here and right now, it’s okay to relax. Even though I feel this stress, right here, and right now, it’s okay to relax. Even though I feel this tension, right here, and right now, I’m okay.

Going up to the eyebrow point, where the eyebrow hits the bridge of the nose, and you’re just going to say, this stress—the side of your eye. Just focus on that stress in the body that we found in the beginning. This stress, under the eye. This tension, yeah, under the nose, what if it’s okay to let it go. Under the mouth, what if it’s okay to let it go by 5%? Yeah, tapping under the collar back then.

Allowing myself to relax, tapping under the eye, what if it’s okay to relax? Tap at the head, I’m not sure it’s okay to relax. Where the eyebrow hits the bridge of the nose. I’m going to let myself relax. Side of the eye, allowing myself to relax. Under the eye, allowing my body to relax. Under the nose, relaxing now. Under the nose, allowing my body to relax now.

Relaxing even deeper, and I feel it’s possible. Breathing and relaxing. Top of head, relaxing now. Okay, take a big inhale and an exhale, and again, hand on your heart, let your attention turn inwards, and just notice what you’re feeling in your body now. Notice that stress, attention, and just give it a number, what would you call it now?

See how it shifted? So, I can say for myself, I was at a six, because it’s a podcast, I think it was a little nervous, and now I’m at like a zero, on the inside with a little outside of a one. So, that was my journey.

Molly Claire: Yeah, yeah. I know I had, I felt pretty relaxed to start with, so I was at a three, but I’m definitely at a zero now.

Melanie Fay: Awesome. Yeah, so I just want to speak… if anyone found their number actually going up, that can just mean that we’re actually tuning in to the stress that’s inside us, maybe a little bit with more focus than we’re used to, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, it doesn’t mean the tapping is not working, it just means it’s like clearing the energy, so you’re actually feeling what you’re feeling.

So, if that’s happening for you right now, and you want to, there are lots of tapping, like the app that I suggested. But there’s also lots of free tapping on YouTube, to help you calm down, or just go for a walk, right? Or relax or do anything you did. But if your number went up, just know you didn’t do anything wrong, that just means we’re getting on the pulse of what you’re really feeling.

Molly Claire: Yeah, I’m so glad you brought that up, yeah. So great. Melanie, thank you so much for being here.

Melanie Fay: You’re s welcome Molly, thank you…

Molly Claire: This has been an amazing…

Melanie Fay: … thank you for having me.

Molly Claire: And if someone does want to try to get on your somewhat busy schedule, where would they find you?

Melanie Fay: Just Melaniefay.com, it’s M-E-L-A-N-I-E.fay.F-A-Y.com.

Molly Claire: Yes, I try to keep you busy with all the people I know, but I know every once in a while someone else might sneak in, so…

Melanie Fay: Thank you, Molly.

Molly Claire: Anyway, thank you so much Melanie.

Outro: Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach podcast. You can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. To find out more about Molly, you can visit www.mollyclaire.com.