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love

*Think it Thursday* and love

All your kids need is love.

It’s easy to think that we need to do SO many things for our kids in order to ensure their success and happiness. It’s easy to let these expectations stress us out and take away from what’s most important.

Which is… love.

Your kids just want you there. They don’t need expensive things. They don’t need a home in perfect order. They don’t need to eat organic for every meal of the day.

What they need, is love. Unconditional, never ending, always meaningful – love.

Are you giving it to them?

Get rid of the unnecessary and focus on what matters most.  I’m working on doing the same.

Think about it.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

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this is so much fun

It’s your *Think it Thursday* and this is so much fun!

Have I mentioned lately the importance of doing fun things in your life?

I used to think that was so frivolous.
I used to think, “Must be nice…. But I don’t have the time.”

The truth is- there is too little time in life NOT to have fun.

This week I started a new practice of writing down all the fun things I’ve built into my week and posting it by my bed. I see it every morning and every night. And every time I walk by.

My life is busy. 3 kids, my business, and all the craziness of life that creeps into the day.

But when I see that list, I get excited about all of those little things.

It might be a phone call you plan to have with a friend. Or picking up your favorite shampoo that’s on sale at Beauty Brands. Maybe it’s date night, or a walk, or choosing a paint color for your bedroom.

List everything you want to feel excited about.

Think about those things all through the week.

It’s magical.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

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Yelling at the kids

*Think it Thursday* and yelling at the kids –

My client Caroline keeps losing it every time her son throws a tantrum.  She holds it together for a while, and then – she can’t. He is unreasonable.  He doesn’t listen.  He should not be acting that way.

We talked last week about why it’s so challenging for her.  She thought it was just his behavior that bothered her, but we came to realize it’s really because she’s afraid she’s failing as a mom.

She makes his behavior mean that she’s not doing a good job.  And that feels terrible.  When that fear of inadequacy builds up inside of her – she loses it.

 And suddenly she is the one acting unreasonable. 

No one wants to act unreasonable.  You don’t, and neither do your kids.  But sometimes… it just happens.

What if your kids’ unreasonable behavior is just a weak moment or a challenging task?

What if it will pass and it’s not worth getting so upset about?

What if you can both learn from it, rather than believe it’s a sign that everything is going terribly wrong?

Try that on for size and see what happens.  You may find it much easier to stay calm and solution-minded. And perhaps you can be reasonable, even when they aren’t.

You’re doing amazing things, mama.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

School’s Out: Help for Mom

I used to always be so well-prepared for the first day of summer.
And knew it would be amazing.
I knew this was the year that we’d do chores like clockwork.  Everyone would read every day and keep up on their math.  Everyone would be happy and we’d have amazing outings.

Then, the first day home from school would come.  And it was a nightmare.

No one was getting along.  No one wanted to do chores.  The level of noise and energy was more than I could handle.
How could this be?  I had it all planned?

The last few years I’ve been less prepared and yet that first day has been better than ever.It’s not because everyone did their chores or got along.  And it certainly wasn’t quiet.
It was my thinking that changed the situation.

I used to believe that my plans meant things would go smoothly.  This belief caused a lot of stress for me.
I came to realize that no matter what plans I did or did not have, the change of pace was an adjustment.  A new routine and new expectations took time to get used to.
It’s always an adjustment.

This thought, “it’s an adjustment” changed everything for me.

When I knew that nothing was supposed to go smoothly, the things that went well were a pleasant surprise. When I knew that unhappiness was inevitable, it didn’t seem to be much of a problem.
And just knowing that the chaos wasn’t a permanent state but simply an adjustment – I could be at peace with the day as it was, not expecting it to be different.

And so, please borrow my thought as school lets out.  It’s an adjustment.  Things will be up and down, out of sorts and loud.  It’s all an adjustment and it’s okay.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire
Life Redesign Coach, Mompreneur

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I resent that.

It’s time for *Think it Thursday* and it’s all about resentment.

Such an ugly word, right?

I’ve had 4 conversations about resentment with clients this week.  And then, just yesterday – I experienced my own feeling of resentment coming up.

And so, it’s time we talk about it.

Jackie was feeling resentment toward her extended family.  She was offering them her time to complete a project and she felt unappreciated and disrespected.  She couldn’t understand how to feel anything but resentment.  It seemed to be her only option.

But it wasn’t.  We always have an option in the feelings we choose to create.

So why would we ever choose resentment? Why do we?

And why do we hang on to it?

And what in the world do we do about it?

Jackie had a hard time releasing the resentment for one simple reason – if she didn’t feel resentful then it seemed that she was disrespecting herself.  Her mind was telling her that if she felt resentment it would somehow be fighting for what she wanted from her family.  As if it was helping her get the result she wanted.

But it wasn’t.

The only thing resentment was doing was ruining her experience.  She was still helping her family, but rather than feeling like a giving and loving person, she was feeling tight and unhappy.

Resentment is never useful.  It never enhances your experience and it never gets you closer to what you really want.

And resentment…. is optional.

Just like all emotions it’s a feeling you create.

Jackie decided she wanted to create something better.  She decided to feel good about the kind of person she is and appreciate herself for it.  She felt proud that she’s a person who does what she says.  She felt generous as she rearranged her schedule because she wanted to.

It didn’t matter what her family said or did.  She was creating the feelings she wanted for her.  And feeling amazing.

If resentment is fooling you into thinking it’s useful, now you know.

You can create the experience you want, regardless of the circumstance.

What is resentment telling your brain it’s doing?  How does it seem to be helping you?  If you release the resentment, what do you fear you’re giving up?  Think about it.  Understanding what’s happening in your brain is the first step in creating something better.

Need a little help?  Click Here to schedule a release the resentment mini-session and we’ll get you started.

Remember,

You create your feelings.

Create good ones.

Feel amazing. 

Have a great week, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

Life Redesign Coach