Posts

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who’s fault?

The best thing I can ever tell you is that you’re going to feel a lot of negative emotions in your life.

Knowing this will save you from so much suffering.

It will reduce anxiety and fear.

It will save you from feeling the need to blame.

You see when we feel something negative, we think it shouldn’t be happening.

And so, we blame.

This is what it looks like for my clients:

My kids are fighting, and I feel upset…It’s their dad’s fault for parenting them wrong and I’m so angry.

My adopted teenagers don’t respect me and I feel so hurt…It’s so unfair that I didn’t get to have biological kids because then it would be different. I feel resentful.

My son is always getting in trouble at school and I’m so worried. I blame myself and I sit in self-loathing.

So much blame and anger and none of it is necessary.

Negative emotions will happen and maybe it’s okay to just notice that they are happening. Maybe no one is to blame. Maybe you can just focus on moving forward and finding solutions instead.

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

– Molly Claire

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unexpected family

Last weekend my daughter was baptized, and it was honestly like a dream come true.

For her, and for me.

The pictures didn’t look the way I expected they would 8 years ago.

The dream I had then, was not the dream that came true this weekend.

Except in all the ways it was exactly the same dream.

I didn’t know then that I would be a single mom.

I didn’t expect that she would have a bonus mom and a half-sibling on the way.

I didn’t realize that my in-laws, who I adore, would be “ex” in-laws.

And I certainly never would have believed that I would feel so grateful about all of it.

The dream looked so different, but the love, connection, and happiness that I really wanted – was all there.

I feel so blessed that even though things don’t always go as planned, God grants us greater blessings than we can ever imagine.

I’m so grateful that my kids get to have even more people in their life that love them.

What a gift.

Even when your hopes and dreams seem to be out of reach, the experience you want can always happen. Create the relationships you want.

Keep focused on what’s most important. Allow God to work miracles.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time!

– Molly

a war zone

Last week I was in Spokane teaching with my friend and colleague, the amazing Jody Moore.

It was a magical week and meanwhile… back at home…

sometimes things seemed to be falling apart.  

On Friday morning (when my kids had the day off of school) my phone was blowing up with texts.

“He did this.”
“She said that.”
“They are driving me crazy.”

I turned to my friend Natalie and said, “My house is a war zone.”

I felt the guilt creeping up.  And the worry.

I started believing that I should be home to fix it.

Fast forward to 5:30 pm and I had all 3 of my kids on video. They were laughing and just hanging out.

The vacuum was out in the background with the cord strewn across the room. Proof that they had attempted to clean as instructed.

Just 8 hour earlier, I was certain that everything was falling apart and that I needed to fix it.

And I had been dead wrong.

They figured it out. They rose to the occasion. There was anger and fighting. And resolution and laughter. My son made pancakes for dinner.

Magic was happening at my house while I was gone. It was the best thing that I wasn’t there. I allowed them the perfect space they needed to figure it out.

Magic.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time!

-Molly

the best day of my life

Today is the best day.  I drove 2 of my kids to school, which I normally don’t do since they ride the bus.

I have family coming in today for my son’s concert.

I can’t wait to have my favorite pork tacos with them.

I’m dying to see my son perform today.

I’m excited to have everyone cram into my house tonight for a sleepover.

The sun is out and it’s beautiful.

I told my daughter today in the car on our drive, “today is the best day ever.”

She was quick to tell me that I said that on Saturday.

The great thing is that I can decide that today is the best new day if I want to.

I can decide that it’s even better than the last great day.  When I’m appreciating all the little things and making them mean that it’s the best day – it’s so much fun.

Why is today the best day for you?  What if you believed it was?
What would you see?  How would you feel?

Enjoy your day – one thought at a time!

Xoxo

– Molly Claire

miserable kids

Yesterday I asked my son to do the dishes and he was certain the world was coming to an end.

My other son is struggling with social anxiety – really struggling.

My daughter has been crying nearly every day because she hates having her dad so far away.

It’s kind of the worst when your kids are upset, isn’t it?

It’s the worst mostly because somewhere in the back of our mind, we think they shouldn’t be feeling discomfort.  We want to make it better.  We think if they are okay, then we can feel okay too.

Our kids will experience hard things – really hard things.

They will fail.

They’ll feel sadness and heartbreak.

They’ll get frustrated.

Sometimes they will question their own worth and feel totally inadequate.

And maybe that’s okay.

I know it doesn’t seem okay, but it’s a normal part of life.

The first step in really being there for them, is accepting negative emotions as part of their experience.  When you can make peace with it, rather than try to fix it – you will allow yourself to be present with them.

You can listen.  You can love them.  You can trust God that their journey is perfect for them.

Trust the process of life.

I’m working on it too.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time.

-Molly Claire