Posts

German

My son is in Germany right now on an orchestra trip.

He keeps sending me messages in German.

He’s sending me pictures of food and his smiling face.

It feels like he’s growing and going his own way and I can’t believe it.

I started to go down the road of – have I taught him everything I should?

Did I let the years slip away while I was distracted with life?

Should I have been more patient?

And then I remembered… I don’t want to go down that road in my brain.

I’ve taught him a lot of things. I’ve been present a lot of the time. I’ve loved him and had days where I was totally patient. Those are the things I’m going to focus on.

What about you? What parenting moments do you focus on? What you focus on grows. Focus on the amazing – it’s so much more fun.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

escape

Lately I’ve been wanting to escape being a mom.

Like literally thinking about fleeing the country and never looking back.

It seems like such a selfish and shameful thought. A thought I didn’t want to say out loud, but I did it anyway. And when I said it out loud I felt so much relief.

The only reason I feel this way – is because I care so much about them. And I want to do a good job. I create pressure. I don’t believe I’m measuring up. And… I want to flee the country.

Sometimes my clients feel this way too… and they feel guilty about it.

They think they shouldn’t want to escape. They think they should be a better mom.

They have a book of rules about what being a good mom and a good person looks like, and there is no room for being human or having thoughts that don’t seem “good” and “positive.”

I think the rule book is wrong.

Being an amazing mom includes having all kinds of thoughts and feelings.

Loving your kids means feeling negative emotions too.

And being the perfect mom for your kids, means being you with all of your humanness – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of the deal and it’s exactly as it should be.

Be amazing today. Have compassion when you’re feeling burned out. Trust that you’re doing better than you think. And please take an extra break for me, will you?

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

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he was furious

My son was furious with me this week.

He wanted to do something and I said no.

I didn’t think it was in his best interest at all.

I say yes most of the time – whenever I can.

But this time, it was a no.

He threw a teenage tantrum. He said mean things to me. He was unreasonable and pushing every last limit in the way he was behaving.

And I decided it was okay. I held the line. I drew some personal boundaries for myself and let him freak out in the way he wanted to, as long as it didn’t cross into my space.

Sometimes your kids don’t like what you have to say, and maybe that’s okay.

They can think and feel a lot of negative things about you, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

You can stay peaceful, even when they aren’t.

Give it a try.

Have a great day -one thought at a time!

-Molly

Thanks to you

Thank you so much for all you do every day.

Thanks for making sure everyone is up for school.

Fed. Dressed. Loved. Disciplined.

Thanks for doing it, even when you don’t feel like it.

Thanks for doing it, even when you’ve lost your temper and you feel like quitting.

Thanks for picking yourself back up, when you’re worried you’re failing.

Your kids might thank you one day, but don’t hold your breath.

Thank yourself. Feel grateful for who you are and all you do.

And accept this big thanks from me.

You’re doing great things every day – keep at it.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time!

– Molly Claire

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who’s fault?

The best thing I can ever tell you is that you’re going to feel a lot of negative emotions in your life.

Knowing this will save you from so much suffering.

It will reduce anxiety and fear.

It will save you from feeling the need to blame.

You see when we feel something negative, we think it shouldn’t be happening.

And so, we blame.

This is what it looks like for my clients:

My kids are fighting, and I feel upset…It’s their dad’s fault for parenting them wrong and I’m so angry.

My adopted teenagers don’t respect me and I feel so hurt…It’s so unfair that I didn’t get to have biological kids because then it would be different. I feel resentful.

My son is always getting in trouble at school and I’m so worried. I blame myself and I sit in self-loathing.

So much blame and anger and none of it is necessary.

Negative emotions will happen and maybe it’s okay to just notice that they are happening. Maybe no one is to blame. Maybe you can just focus on moving forward and finding solutions instead.

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

– Molly Claire