It’s both ironic and fascinating how we tend to avoid things we know we ought to do, and yet we don’t. But we’re complex beings. Just telling ourselves to move past the fear to move forward in our businesses often isn’t the answer. Whether it’s things you really need to do, or things you only think you need to do, the reluctance is real.
But by broadening our perspectives on internal fear and seeking safety, we can help alleviate some of them. After all, it’s not always as straightforward as knowing specific steps. If it were, you would have already done it. It’s also about knowing ourselves. And knowing how to use safety to move you past fear and onto building your business.
“The only way that we can truly grow into our full potential is by having that safety. By healing the fears within us to grow and expand.” – Molly Claire
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Welcome to the masterful coach podcast with Mollie Claire. If you’re a coach who’s ready to impact more lives, make more money and create a life you love, you’re in exactly the right place. Get the support you deserve as a female entrepreneur. Master your coaching skills, grow your ideal business, and honor your priorities in your personal life.
Are you in? Let’s get started with your host, bestselling author and master life and business coach, Molly Clare.
Hey coaches. Welcome to this podcast episode. As I’m delivering this podcast to you, I’m also teaching live on video. I have my board here. So, if you are hearing like a little bit of touchiness with the sound and mic, I apologize ahead of time, but I promise the content I’m bringing you here will be so well worth the time invested.
So, as I have continued to enroll in master coach training and speak with coaches, it’s been so interesting to me to see that there seems to be this idea out there that there are the programs that will be kind of a soft, touchy feely space – where we’re talking about safety, and we’re talking about growth, and we’re talking about healing, and where we’re learning and gaining knowledge. And then there’s this other space where we’re getting coaching to make money and build a business. It’s so interesting.
And as I say that, I’m so curious how many of you find yourself viewing it this way. I think it’s so common and so fascinating. And I just want to say how ironic it is. And I’ll tell you why, as we talk in this episode, and I’ll share a little of my own experience as well, but I think that it’s such a fascinating phenomenon. And I think that a part of that is because of some of the rhetoric, some of the things we hear in the coaching space and the way we tend to misinterpret them.
So how many of you have heard before things like feel the fear and do it anyway, right? You’ve got to overcome your fears. You got to move through it. You got to push past it. You got to just put yourself out there. Just be willing to be seen. Now, all these things are not inherently bad or wrong. I have probably said some version of these. But the problem with them is it is not a piece of like straightforward guidance and direction because it completely, completely depends.
So I want to talk today about how do we actually move past fear? What does that mean? And I’m talking specifically about things like no longer avoiding the things in your business that you know that you probably need to do – or should do – maybe that’s in question as well. But the idea is, let’s stop avoiding. I’m gonna talk with you about what it looks like to move forward and actually be willing to be seen. And I’m talking about how to move past the fear and make money in your business.
So I just think it’s interesting because as human beings, we are so complex. There’s so much that goes into this. And so, as I speak to you today, my hope is to broaden your perspective as to what you may need as a coach to actually move forward. I can’t tell you how many times I hear from coaches that come to consultations with me, for various programs, and they say these exact words. The truth is I know what I need to do I just need to do it. And sometimes they’ll say this in relation to the program that they’re interested in with me. It’s like, “I’m drawn to this program and I would love it and I know it would be great for these reasons But I really should just finish this list I’ve already created. I really should just do what I know I need to do. I really need to just take action. I really need to stop hiding. I really need to stop playing it safe.”
And what’s so interesting about this to me, from my perspective, knowing what I’ve been through in building my business and helping other coaches and my own internal struggle with these things, what is so fascinating about it is that it’s almost like they have this idea that what they need to do is to just do what they’ve been avoiding. But what they’re not taking into account is, there is a reason they’ve been avoiding it, right?
And for you listening, I always want to ask, what is going to change? What is going to be the thing that’s going to actually help you stop avoiding it? And I can just say for the work that I do- because you know, if you follow me here, you listen to me you know that the work that I do is first and foremost around creating a space of safety and looking inward and, instead of trying to override your nervous system, or just paste new thoughts over the top of whatever you’re thinking, or just changing your emotions.
Instead, when things come up when resistance comes up, I want to lean in. I want to help you lean in. I want to help you learn from what is there. And what’s so fascinating is that we have this idea, “if I just override, if I just push past, if I just put myself out there, that’s how I’m going to earn money more quickly in my business.” And actually, the opposite is true.
Now, obviously, yes, in some regards, we can just push past. We can put ourselves out there and we can make some money. And I can say for myself personally, I’ve made significant amounts of money in my business doing that process. But it does not last. Because the truth is that if we are reaching towards something, trying to leap over this fear, if we don’t have a strong foundation, whatever we bring in will never last. Not only will the financial flow not last, you won’t last, because you will be so burned out.
So this is why I’m going back to this idea that I’ve been talking so much about, as far as the holistic approach, and what I’m doing with all of you that are – some of the 20 enrolled in master coach training.
I’m not sure if I’d mentioned that on the podcast, but I really had debated on size and I had set it at a higher size and it was really weighing on me and I’ve decided that it is just going to be 20 people. And I’m thrilled about all of you that are joining me already.
But going back to this idea of what I want to talk with you about today is how vital it is that you know that if you are seeking safety, if you are playing it safe, there’s a reason for that. It’s because there is a part of you that needs safety And the only way that we can truly grow into our full potential is by having that safety. By healing the fears within us to grow and expand.
And so hopefully you’re catching this, because it is true that we can achieve success without having that total sense of safety and peace and alignment. Absolutely. And in fact, it is true that we can get a lot of success. However, I know this to be true. I’ve seen this for my clients and I’ve seen this for myself, that the fullest potential being met, the reaching your full financial potential, reaching your full impact potential, can absolutely only happen when you’re coming from a solid, strong foundation. Where you feel safe. Where you feel self-connected and grounded in you, that is where the magic happens.
So I’m going to talk about three things that are imperative for you to do. And all of these things we are doing in master coach training. And those of you that are my clients, as you’re listening to this, my guess is that this is just going to articulate for you the work that we’ve been doing. Because what I’m talking about here, it’s almost embedded in all of my programs. Because I know that I can teach you great marketing. I can help you design your program. I can do all the things with you, but unless I’m doing this work of helping you internally with a strong foundation, none of it will last.
And by the way, I am much more interested in each of you having a high, full, abundant quality of life than any external goal at all. And the external goals will come, but they’re just not that big of a deal when you can actually feel this way inside, knowing who you are, knowing you can achieve anything. It is everything.
So number one, if you’re seeking safety, if you’re avoiding not wanting to be seen, make sure that you are providing the safety that you need. And I know this may seem abstract for a lot of you, but what I want to offer to you is that if you are working with a coach or in a coaching community, or any process at all, where you’re noticing that the lines that you’re being fed as to how you should move forward in your business are encouraging you to ignore or move past thoughts or feelings that are coming up, it will not be helpful for you.
And in fact, this is what I often see. So let’s imagine here you are, feeling that avoidance, feeling the fear, and you’re thinking, I should just be able to do this anyway. And so we do all these tricks and tactics to move forward, even though we have that big fear.
And I want to just pause for a minute and say, I’m not suggesting that, oh, once you do this work, you’ll never have fear, but there’s a difference. There is a difference between the debilitating fear that is always coming up that you are always fighting against, versus having that safety, having that solid internal space and then moving through fear. So it may be hard to articulate in this episode, but I’m hoping that as I talk and as you tune into you, that you will understand the difference for you. Okay?
So let’s imagine there you are and you’re thinking, I just need to do this. I should move past the fear. I should put myself out there. And you think you should do this, and then you’re also hearing this from the outside, that you should do this, but something inside you is not able to. Because there are either fears that need to be attended to, your nervous system. You may need some nervous system regulation, right? Something isn’t being attended to.
So then what happens is that judgment on top of your seeming inability to do it, simply compounds the problem. The stuckness gets worse. The avoidance gets worse. There starts to be shame and judgment on top of it. It is never ever going to move you forward.
So if you’re finding any of these phrases, not useful for you, creating more urgency, creating more panic, creating more judgment. “I should just move forward.” “I shouldn’t need to be safe.” If you’re noticing that, I want you to just consider throwing that idea out the window. And maybe what you need instead is to provide a little safety, and lean in and see what’s happening.
In master coach training we’re going to be doing this for you personally. First and foremost, your internal transformation and master coach training is the thing. And it’s like the added benefit is that you’re going to be able to offer all of this to your clients, right? So absolutely, the training is about what you can give. And first and foremost, you are going to do it for you. And it is magical.
So let’s talk next about this idea of healing the fears within you, so that even as you’re facing fear, you can move through it with strength. So I had a client reach out to me and she said, “You know, I think I’m just, I’m consuming information. And I know I’m just, I’m doing it just to be safe, just to feel safe.”
As I went back and forth with this client, one of the things we talked about is that when you create safety, it actually allows the opportunity to lean in, to seeing what fears exist, so you can take the time to have some healing. So seeking safety can be, not always, but certainly can be an indication that some fears within you need to be attended to.
And this kind of goes back to what I was just saying that if we miss that step, if we don’t see that step as necessary, what do we do? We compound the fears, and it just, it will make you more activated, more frustrated, more heightened as you’re trying to build your business. However, when we can remove the judgment and get so curious, what is happening inside for me? What are these fears? What do I need?
And, by the way, as I’m saying this, I recognize you do need support with this – I’m going to talk about this in just a minute – but when you can go in and ask yourself that, and when you can give yourself that gift of healing, peace, of processing every step along the way, what it allows you to do is to actually install within you a very safe space for you. Where there isn’t judgment when you struggle, where there isn’t criticism when you come up against something. But instead, you’re always curious, and inviting yourself to come in and learn what needs to happen in order for you to grow, in order for you to expand.
And what that does is it actually builds the strength that you need to move past fear to do it anyway, in a very healthy way, because you’re strong. You’re okay. And you recognize a little bit of fear. It’s not nearly as big, it’s not nearly as daunting, and that your inner strength and peace and self connection and knowing that you’re okay allows you to move through it so much more powerfully. So I hope that articulates what I’m trying to share, and how I really feel about feel the fear and move past it anyway.
I’m going to talk about one more element here and then I’m going to talk about how you get support. How do you do this? Because I really do see this as lacking in a lot of coaching communities, which isn’t a bad thing. Everyone, every one of you, bring something different to your clients. And in fact, some of my clients, they work with me for this work and then they work with someone else that kind of has a different approach or a different like superpower, right? And so, to say that this is missing in a lot of places is not a criticism. But just be aware of it so you can make sure that you’re giving yourself what you need.
So the last thing I want to talk about is stop chasing money goals, better money beliefs, with emptiness. The only way I know how to articulate this, and some of you, you may just not relate to this at all, but the only way I know how to articulate it is by asking you to think about how this feels in your body.
So I can say for me that when I’m going for a big goal or I’m setting that big number, at times, it feels like this big, empty, scary space. This dark hole that exists between where I am and where that goal is. And it’s almost like I’m trying to reach over it, like, reach over this empty feeling toward this thing I want, but it feels… Very unsettling is the best way that I can describe it. And this will feel a little bit differently for each of you, but I do think it’s a good idea to think through it.
And what I’ll tell you is that I have certainly reached for things and had that experience many times, and I do reach some pretty big goals. And it doesn’t actually serve me, and it doesn’t actually serve you long-term because we can’t really override or leap over that big dark hole of fear.
So my recommendation on this, again, is if you notice this, if you’re feeling like whatever you’re reaching for is kind of like across this big valley emotionally, take a minute, take a minute and find out, “What is it that I need internally in order to fill some of this big gap that exists? What beliefs, what thought patterns, what deep emotions? Do I have some traumas there around this? How about checking in with my body, my brain, my nervous system, everything. What are the ways I can support myself in a whole way, so that as I’m reaching for a goal, I feel grounded in me?”
And yes, the goal is big and the goal is hard and scary, and it’s something that seems really quite out of reach. And I don’t feel this deep valley of space. Instead, I feel connected with my ability to achieve it, even though it’s a pretty big goal.
All right, coaches. I know a lot of this has, I don’t, I actually don’t know how this has landed for all of you. Some of it maybe seems abstract, some new language. I’m not really sure. But what I will tell you is that if, as I’m speaking, if this is landing for you, if this is resonating for you, and if you notice that you have been one saying, “Well, I just need to stop avoiding. I just need to be seen. I just need to make money. I just need to make it happen. I need to be better with marketing and sales…” and all these things, make sure that you are paying attention to the things that stood out to you here.
Now, of course, I am a huge proponent of the collaborative approach of master coach training that I’m offering. And I also want to recognize there are many ways you can get support with this. I’m going to talk a little bit about this now. So first of all, if any of you are interested in master coach training, I am finishing enrollment now. There are 20 spots. At the time that I am making this recording , I think 12 of the 20 spots have been filled. There are a few calls on my calendar. So if you’re interested, go to mollyclaire.com and definitely apply.
In that program, I’m bringing in several experts who are actually the other people I’m going to mention on this podcast if you’re looking for support in any of these areas. But it is a very holistic approach. It’s very comprehensive. And again, the work in there is first applying to you what you need as a human being to move forward, to build your profitable business, and to really do this deep work and learn how to do it for your clients.
But the other thing I want to mention is the experts that I’m bringing into my program, the reason why I’m bringing them is they do phenomenal work. And I actually want to make mention of this because, going back to what I said at the very beginning, where there seems to be this disconnect between healing and safety and actually making money, I don’t talk a lot about private clients that I’ve worked with. But believe me, this work has been some of the backdrop of a client who makes millions of dollars, another client who makes millions of dollars, another client who’s the right hand woman of an eight figure business. I say this, it’s because they’re willing to do the work, right?
But I just want to make it clear that the work I’m talking about isn’t just like feel good and, and all that kind of stuff, but it’s a big deal. It matters. It is the catalyst to achieving your potential financially impact in every single way. Okay.
So going back to these other women, and I’m going to wrap up this episode, the women that I’ve been highlighting on the podcast are phenomenal. Melanie Faye is phenomenal at what she does now in master coach training. She is teaching a five part masterclass teaching you actually how to tap. She is a gifted healer, phenomenal work, and I know that she works in many communities and with many coaches that are going after pretty big money goals. The work that she does is very healing. She would be a great option.
Lindsay Pullman does her relationship trauma work. Incredible work. And much of what she does – and she will be sharing this in master coach training – some parts of this where she talks about, and helps you understand some of the societal conditioning, and those traumas that have been passed down generationally and how it impacts us, how it impacts the way we think about money, the way we think about what’s possible for us. So she is another phenomenal resource, even if you just follow her.
Leah Davidson. Phenomenal work with the nervous system. I adore her. I adore the way her brain works because she is so different for me and her approach, and I love it. Which is why I like the magic of bringing everyone together, but she does phenomenal work. She is straight up focused on the nervous system. Absolutely incredible.
Krista St. Germain, another great resource, even following her podcast and listening to the work that she does with greeting widows. All of these women, I’m talking about them because honestly, these women are phenomenal at what they do.
So listen, if some of this episode resonated with you, whether you apply for master coach training with me, whether you reach out to any of these women or whether you seek support in other ways, this is what I want you to know. You do not have to live in a cycle of frustration and self judgment by always telling yourself that you should just be over this by now and you should be able to move forward and you just need to do what you’ve been avoiding doing.
You don’t have to live in that space. You have permission to acknowledge and actually have compassion for the fact that you have some fears. That you have a little bit of trepidation. That you’re scared. That you don’t want to be seen. I want to encourage you to make space for that to be okay. There is tremendous value in terms of your quality of life, your sense of wellbeing, and what you’re able to create in making that space to actually care for what you need inside.
And that is how you will give the most, the absolute most, in this world to your clients and everyone you encounter. All right, coaches, that’s what I’ve got for you. I’ll talk with you next week.
Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast. Are you ready to build your amazing business with Molly as your coach? Check out www.mollyclaire.com to find out about Masterful Coach Foundations and the 10K Accelerator Method. It’s the ultimate support for you as a coach, building your ideal life and business.
Molly Claire is a 7-figure business builder with a blended family of 10. She is dedicated to helping women overcome their own limits, make the money they want, and have the time, freedom, and flexibility to be with the people in their lives that matter most. Especially the little ones.
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