Limiting beliefs can be inherently part of our nature as women. Some of them can come from our upbringing, some from society, and some from experiences as adults in the workplace or business world. Regardless of where they originate, limiting beliefs absolutely must be addressed in order to fully step into our place in the world.
To talk about all this, I have invited three amazing women to share on this podcast episode. Each of them stand as examples of women who want to create something big, while remaining committed to honoring themselves, their personal priorities, and impacting the world with good. They really represent the manifesto of The Masterful Coach Collective Community. In the Community, we support one another as we face the common challenges of women entrepreneurs, especially in rising above limiting beliefs.
“We believe in supporting women to rise to their potential. That each woman may overcome her limiting beliefs and feel powerful and free.
We give permission for each woman to honor her own personal values and priorities. That she may be at peace with her life and herself.
We stand together in collaboration. We learn from the best. We support each other to become our best. That each of us may expand in our ability to do good in the world.
We believe that self-care is honorable. That women may thrive personally and give their best to others too.
We cultivate self-trust, self-knowing, and self-confidence. That each women is powerful enough to stand alone, but in wisdom, she chooses to stand with others in goodness and growth.” – Molly Claire
What You’ll Learn
The Masterful Coach Collective Community manifesto
Collaboration without competition
The power and energy of feminine support
Ways we drop the ball
Bringing life situations into cooperation
Find what lights you up
Use your voice
Do it anyway
Contact Info and Recommended Resources
Connect with Mikki Gardner
Mikki is a Certified Life Coach who helps women become loving, strong, effective co-parents and create a life full of resilience, abundance and joy after divorce.
Crystal is a Certified Life and Advanced Relationship Coach who specializes in helping women and couples who feel disconnected, or even miserable in their marriage, learn tools to bridge the gap and create the relationships they’ve always wanted.
Ashton is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and non-diet, weight-inclusive Certified Personal Trainer. Her aim is to help women reclaim their relationships with food, body, and self by helping them strengthen their mind, prioritize self-care, and nurture self-compassion.
Intro: Welcome to The Masterful Coach podcast, with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you are serious about creating a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you are in the right place. And now your host, master life and business coach, Molly Claire.
Molly Claire: Hey coach. Okay, first of all, get ready to be inspired. I am introducing you to some incredible women on the podcast today, and they have some great things to share with you. Before we dive into that big news is happening. The Masterful Coach Collective, the ultimate support for you as you’re building your business, giving you guest experts and resources and personalized help in business, your life, and your coaching skill mastery is opening for enrollment next week.
Tuesday, August 16th is the big day. There are two ways you can make sure to find out more about this and be among the first to join. First of all, the wait list is open. It is in the show notes here. You can also find it on my website, mollyclaire.com .
I highly recommend you join the wait list. There are some wait list, only bonuses that will beq offered to you. And I promise you don’t wanna miss out on this because it means some more personalized support for you. So make sure you are on the wait list. You will be the first to have access to join The Collective Membership.
Second on August 16th, I am doing a webinar. And what I’m specifically focusing on is what I have seen in building my business over the last eight years and having a front row seat on other coaches building their businesses, six figure, seven figure, and the coaches who end up quitting together.
I’ve been in the thick of it with coaches for the last six years as I’ve trained coaches, trained master coaches and worked with others, building their business. And I want to share with you some really powerful secret as to how you can feel supported as you build your business, how you can stay the course with your business, even with the ups and downs, and truly to help you see the most important things you need. And also by the way, Allow you to let go of all of those things that are taking up so much space in your head that don’t need to be there.
So that webinar will be on August 16th. The link to register is in the show notes. Make sure to join me there. I cannot wait to spend a little bit of time with you.
It’s going to be sort of workshop style. I have an interactive success guide for you where I’ll be working with you. So don’t miss it. Get on the wait list, come to the webinar. And I am just so beyond excited to share with you the magic that is happening in this personal community that’s gonna support you in building your business.
All right. Let’s dive into this week’s episode.
All right, coaches, this episode is so much fun, not only because I love the topic today, but because I’m with some of my very favorite women, women that I have worked with in my community, they work in different capacities. They’re going to share that with you, but just really women who, to me, stand as examples of women who want to create something big, who are committed to honoring themselves, their personal priorities and really making a difference with their business.
So, these women are amazing, I hope that you will be inspired by them, I’m sure that you will, and learn from them. So, this episode is really focused on—I’m going to be sharing with you here, our manifesto, or mission behind the Masterful Coach Collective Community. And this is really focused on supporting women entrepreneurs as you’re building your coaching business, to be able to face some of those common challenges that we have as women, balancing business and family life or personal priorities, and also overcoming those limiting beliefs.
We all have limiting beliefs, and I think as women, we kind of have this special set of limiting beliefs, that some of it is kind of inherently there, some of it is from society, and I want to talk about it and I want to provide a space for women to feel empowered and supported. So, first I want to have all of these women say “Hello” and tell you a little bit about them, and then we’re going to actually read the mission and talk about it. So, here we go. Mikki Garder, hello.
Mikki Gardner: Hello, I’m so excited to be here, thank you for having me.
Molly Claire: This is awesome, you have so much to share. So, just tell the people a little about you and what you do.
Mikki Gardner: Okay. So, I am a co-parenting coach, a conscious co-parenting coach. A lot of the time I have a private one-to-one practice where I support divorce moms, really learning how to ditch the frustration and conflict and step into loving, strong, confident co-parenting, regardless of if their other co-parent is involved.
So, it’s something that is near and dear to my heart and I’m really committed to helping—to moms, just to show up and especially post-divorce. And then, I have the immense honor and privilege, and I just love so much as being with you in this community and supporting women almost as more of a clarity coach, right? For me, everything comes down to getting really clear about who you are, what you want, what your values are, and getting that clarity and learning how to tap into your own intuition and self-trust. So, I get to do it in a few different ways and… I get to spend time with you guys, so I’m just excited to be here and to talk about this.
Molly Claire: I love it, and I think I know that co-parenting space is so important.
Mikki Gardner: Yes.
Molly Claire: And I’ve had the experience of co-parenting with my ex-husband, which has been generally very positive and still challenging, right?
Mikki Gardner: Yeah, absolutely.
Molly Claire: For both of us, I’m sure, and then a situation on the other side where it’s not as friendly—there’s a lot there. And I think it’s so important though, for us and for the kids, so I loved it, I love that you do that work. And in our community, I feel Mikki is able to see the big picture and help to simplify and problem solve so easily. It’s like I feel sometimes Mikki, I can talk to you for about three minutes and it’s like, everything just—is very clear. So, I love having you in the community and
Mikki Gardner: Thank you.
Molly Claire: Working with our people. So…
Mikki Gardner: Thank you.
Molly Claire: All right. Crystal, hello, tell us all about you.
Crystal Hansen: Hello
Molly Claire: Hello, welcome.
Crystal Hansen: Thanks, I’m excited to be here today too. My name’s Crystal Hansen and I am a coach. I work with women and couples who want to work on their marriage, more specifically with people who are feeling really disconnected in their marriage, or they feel like—they’re even miserable in their marriage, I’m going to work through that with them and really help them learn how to connect with themselves first and then try to work on their relationships with their spouse.
And like Mikki, I have the privilege of also working on the Molly Claire’s team, and… I show up in different capacities, such as: coaching, and on slack, and on calls, and I’m really kind of just a business strategist. I’ve had years of experience in business prior to being a coach, marketing and advertising, and I really love helping people get excited about marketing and advertising themselves, and showing them how it can be fun if you do it in a way that is authentic to you.
Molly Claire: Yes, I think whenever our 90-day group coaches have a call with you, they’re like, “I just had a call with Crystal, everything is clear, everything is easy.” So, you have such a great business and marketing mind and it’s amazing, so glad to have you here.
Crystal Hansen: Thank you.
Molly Claire: Okay, Ashton…
Ashton Barrett: Hello.
Molly Claire: Hello,
Ashton Barrett: Hello.
Molly Claire: So, fun, I think I’ve had all of you on for different things here and there, but it’s fun to have you all together.
Ashton Barrett: It is, and it’s good to be back. So, I’m Ashton Barrett, I’m an intuitive eating and body image coach and I’m also an Instagram manager for life coaches specifically. As far as Molly Claire Coaching and helping with this community. I love this community and what Molly does, because of how I feel like it relates to my own personal mission in my business, kind of this idea of shedding these cultural and beliefs conditioning that we get specifically as women and that just translates so beautifully for me with what you’re about and what we do here on your team.
So, yes, kind of what I do in the Molly Claire realm is: help with Instagram, you know cross promoting on Instagram, sharing community wins, helping get across the message of what your community is about, which is, shedding those beliefs that we have about yourselves..
Molly Claire: Because there’s the marketing side, right? Of, “Oh, this is what this program or community checks off,” but then there’s really the power behind any community, right? Or program kind of what’s behind it. And I know because Ashton, as she said, she does Instagram management for life coaches.
And that really came to be because of her intuitive eating work on Instagram and her—she has a huge following there, and it is because I think it is that authentic part of you, right? Where it’s like, “Let’s drop all of this judgment, all these limits, all of these rules and shed these layers, so we can just really have that self-love and be authentic, so powerful.”
All right, so these women are amazing. And I’m going to go ahead and read for all of you listening, our manifesto or mission behind our company, our community, and what we really want to do for you as women.
“We believe in supporting women to rise to their potential that each woman may overcome her limiting beliefs and feel powerful and free. We give permission for each woman to honor her own personal values and priorities that she may be at peace with her life and herself.”
I’m just going to pause there because we all know what it’s like to think we should be more focused on our career or more focused on our family life, and we feel this pull in both directions, and we genuinely believe that you get to choose where and how all of those priorities together.
All right, I’ll keep going here. “We stand together in collaboration, we learn from the best, we support each other to become our best that each of us may expand in our ability to do good in the world. We believe that self-care is honorable, that women may thrive personally and give her best to others too. And finally, we cultivate self-trust, self-knowing, and self-confidence, that each woman is powerful enough to stand alone, but in wisdom, she chooses to stand with others in goodness and growth.”
So, this is a little bit of a glimpse into what’s really behind what we are creating and have cultivated already in The Masterful Coach Collective. It’s really a space where we can come together in collaboration over competition, right? And empowering one another with abundance.
So, we’re going to just talk a little bit about this, and before I dive into my first question, I’d love for any of you, if you would like to share any of your thoughts, because I know I shared this with each of you and everyone had a reaction internally to this, so would love to hear any of your thoughts about it.
Mikki Gardner: It hits me every time I read it, as to how important it really is. And I think especially now in the times that we’re seeing there’s so much uncertainty, there’s so much scarcity, there’s increased violent—just everything is just—it’s more and more and more and compounding stress and compounding trauma and all of it.
And I think what I love that you’re doing is really giving a voice and a space to women because I know Melinda Gates has done a lot of research in this but, if you support women and have them be self-sufficient financially independent and working, the entire economy, the entire community and nation, actually is a higher Domestic Gross Product, right.
So, it economically shows that there’s less abuse, there’s less violence in those communities, there’s more financial abundance, right? And I think with everything that’s going on, you really sort of giving this space and this voice for women to step up, right? And link arms, because I truly believe it’s us, it’s us moms, it’s us women that are going to link arms and change this world. And I think you serve this community and that manifesto, is really going to that place, how do we link arms and do this together. And I think the time is now, and I’m so grateful to be here.
Molly Claire: I love that. I love it. I was just thinking when you said that I remember one of my very first coaching programs I put together was supporting moms, I was all focused on the mom space, and I had this banner on my Facebook page where it was all these women that were linking arms and they were kind of walking away together, and it’s just—I think it’s a really powerful thing that every woman needs. All right, Crystal?
Crystal Hansen: I echo what Mikki said, I love this manifesto, every time I read it, something jumps out at me. In fact, I was reading it to one of my friends last night and she was like, “Wow, like, I feel motivated and I’m not even a coach.” So, I think it’s so powerful and so great, and it’s a true Testament of what inspiring women can do.
Molly Claire: Yes.
Crystal Hansen: Which is quite a fire in all of us and get us all motivated. I love the part where it talks about how we support each other to become their best. I think that’s so crucial because we all have different talents and different weaknesses, and so, if we can work together as a team, we really can build something wonderful and amazing and fill in the gaps. And I love that this is such a focus, which is not just helping ourselves move forward, but helping the women around us move forward for this career, Good.
Molly Claire: And this really is the thread through, that is woven throughout all the things we’re doing, right? As we’re helping coaches with their coaching skills, with their business and their marketing and strategy, and with that perfect life balance and all of that, this is just woven all throughout of it. Self-trust, honoring self, honoring values and priorities is just the foundation. So, love it.
Ashton Barrett: I feel like what stood out to me the most after reading it for the first time was that last paragraph. I think, too, there’s a beautiful contrast in the manifesto, and I feel like that last paragraph for me, what stood out the most, this idea that you are powerful enough to stand on your own, but in wisdom you choose to stand with others in goodness, in growth, like that instantly creates an emotional response in my body, because there is an element for me, like when I think about your manifesto and I kind of—this came to mind when Mikki was talking.
There’s this healing I feel that needs to happen and is happening for women in terms of generational trauma. And I use that word maybe a little more broadly, but there are these specific set limiting beliefs and stories that we have for ourselves as women that we really have to shed, it is a unique set of beliefs and stories that we have about ourselves. And so, I feel it’s easy to swing one way into—I can do it all by myself, I can be powerful like men or whatever that may be, right?
Molly Claire: Yeah.
Ashton Barrett: These stories have, “I can do it by myself, I can take the reins,” but then no! We do in wisdom want to choose to stand together and get help and support and encourage and grow together. So, for me, that last paragraph gets me really emotional every time I read it, I Love it.
Molly Claire: I mean, just you talking about it, I’m feeling the same thing, because I think we do, especially when we want to feel more empowered, stronger, independent. And I’ve always been a pretty independent person and it can be very easy for me to swing to that side of “I can just do it all, I can handle it,” but we know, right? I know you’re all nodding, so we’ve all seen that the wisest and most really beneficial thing we can do for even ourselves is, really to unite with others, right? And support each other together, so I just it. So, I would love to know from all of you in your own business, how do you collaborate with other women? What does that mean? Or look like for you.
Mikki Gardner: For me, it’s really been learning over time that there isn’t competition, right? Competition is just judgment, dressed up in fancy clothes, right? Trying to tell us that we’re not good enough, but I think for me, finding women that are like-minded, that have—we might be doing different things, but having a similar perspective or mindset and really welcoming in those conversations, whether it is Instagram Live, whether it’s having being on podcast or having people on my podcast, but really trying to get into conversation and collaboration, even if it seems like they’re “Competition.”
Molly Claire: Absolutely.
Mikki Gardner: Really pushing, right? To see how can we support one another, because the fact is that you are going to have your people that resonate with you, right?
Molly Claire: That’s right.
Mikki Gardner: And so giving and receiving is an infinite loop. And so, really sort of stepping into that and learning how to do that. I came from a highly competitive industry before this, so the whole idea of competition, right? Is there and even in that industry, I started to say, “Let’s just figure out what we can do together, because we’re stronger together.” And so, I think just stepping into that every day has been
Molly Claire: A hundred percent.
Mikki Gardner: Letting that competition go.
Molly Claire: It’s so abundant, and I think often, I teach my clients about having their power partners, right? Who are people that are in the same space, but wouldn’t be considered competition at all, and then there’s also those people that you could consider competition because they’re serving a similar population, but your people are your people and their people are theirs and sometimes you can bring more together anyway. So yeah, I just…I love it. Alright, Crystal, how do you collaborate with other women?
Crystal Hansen: I am really a big fan of collaboration and community, and so I have some really strong ones that I’ve been a part of ever since I became a coach, and like Mikki, I came from real estate and property management and various aspects of that. And it was a competition world where it was like be the best and who can get whatever that was always the driving force.
So, for me, coming into this space where you really can create more from this place of abundance, instead of competition was such a relief and was almost like taking a vacation at work for me because it was so wonderful to really feed off of each other’s power and get that collaboration back and forth to help each other grow, and it just builds so much momentum that way. And so, I have some great programs that I’m a part of. I mean, I’ve been with you Molly, since I was certified.
Molly Claire: Yeah, I know, right?
Crystal Hansen: I love that aspect of it, and just really like surrounding yourself with women who are like-minded. I value honesty a lot, and so I love being with women who are willing to be honest with me, even if it’s not something that they think I want to hear, I appreciate that. So, it’s just really having a tribe of women who know you and can be able to know you back.
Molly Claire: I love that, love it. And Ashton, I want to hear it from you and also, I don’t know if you were planning on sharing any of this, but specifically, I mean, I know you’ve encouraged me with collaborations on Instagram and that’s your jam, so tell us a little about how you like to collaborate other women.
Ashton Barrett: Absolutely. So, collaboration—and since I’m an Instagram person, I’ll kind of talk Instagram, right? Collaboration is the root of growth, right? I feel like collaboration—Instagram is a place to create connection. You’re creating connection with your audience, you’re creating connection with other people that, like you said, Molly, maybe are power partners and are similar niche issue. And also creating those relationships with people who might be in sister niches, right? Not the exact same thing, but a little bit different.
Those relationships are so powerful, not only from a growth standpoint and a networking standpoint but from a standpoint of like, “I truly feel this in my heart, it’s an opportunity for us to heal.” I think when we feel threatened with other women who are—whether it’s showing up as their authentic self, they’re showing up on Instagram, they’re being confident, they’re sharing their business, they’re selling, they’re making money.
When we feel threatened by these things, I truly feel like that discomfort that we feel in those moments, like learning to recognize that belongs to us, and it’s an opportunity to heal, is what I feel like. So, yes, obviously, those touchpoints from an Instagram standpoint are going to be so helpful for growth and recognition and networking and
I mean, my business, my Instagram management business—this topic is near and dear to my heart because my business is purely networking, like purely referrals, like if I did not have women who were collaborators, and people who value community and lifting each other up and being like, “Hey, I know this girl, she does a really great job at what she does, Like, this is what you need, reach out to her.”
So, I feel like the more that we can do that and embody what that is about which is abundance versus scarcity, like you’re just going to see that karma is going to come back to your business, I’m such a firm believer in that.
Molly Claire: And I think that, you know, you were saying just from a purely business perspective standpoint, right? I mean, that’s how you grow your network, that’s how you expand, is really by connecting with others. And I just think about the personal aspect, because for example, getting to come on and talk with all of you today, this is so personally fulfilling for me, right? Like, I mean, it’s so enjoyable to exchange ideas and to be excited about what other people do and what they’re great at. And I always feel like whenever I meet someone new, who I think does something amazing that would benefit people, I’m so excited to tell everyone about it, you know?
And I think that’s a lot of the reason why I am just so excited about the Masterful Coach Collective, because it’s like, I know my audience has heard from Kim, the copywriter, and I met Kim and I’m like, “Wow.” And then she presented to our mastermind for the coaching collective and it was like, “Oh, wow.” Like, she’s amazing, more coaches need to know her, right? And then, Aaron Jacobs, who I had on, “Wow. He really helps coaches to be confident on camera,” even though he’s a guy, we’ll let him in because he’s really great and we love him and he’s a supporter of women, right?
So, he’s going to be there, and I really feel like for me, just at a personal level, even if I never made one dime off my business, it is so fun and fulfilling and enjoyable to highlight people’s gifts and strengths and power and share them with the people who are going to benefit from it, right? It’s just a fun way to live, right? In a world where—like my son, he came down last night, he was giving me all the news headlines. He’s like, guess what happened today? He was telling me all the things, I’m like, “Oh,” I’m like, “I guess I need to watch the news.” He’s like, “No, don’t watch the news, keep doing whatever you’re doing.” So, this is what we need to do, right? We need to spend our time focusing on this—building each other up. So…
Ashton Barrett: Couldn’t agree more, well said, and don’t listen to the news.
Molly Claire: Don’t listen to the news, whatever you do. My son was like, “No! don’t listen mom, I’m just depressed all the time, don’t watch it.”
Ashton Barrett: I was walking with a friend yesterday and she asked me the same. She said, “You don’t, how do you know what’s going on in the world?” And I said, “People like you tell me.” I trust that if it’s important, I’ll find out and then I’ll research it, until then, I’m happy.
Molly Claire: Yeah, you’ve got to keep happiness going, right?
Ashton Barrett: Yes, absolutely.
Molly Claire: So, I also want to know from each of you, and I know you’ve already shared a little of this, so don’t feel obligated to answer this since you’ve already expressed some of this, but I would love to know in what ways you have found the support of other women to be so powerful for you, even either professionally or just personally, you know, any kind of stories you have or anything I would love to hear about it, and I’ll share a little of mine as well. So, what you got Ashton? And I’ll pick on you first, even though we just chatted with you.
Ashton Barrett: Let’s do it. She is not putting under the table, I promise you, this wasn’t part of the plan, but I am sitting here, looking at these women: Crystal, Mikki, Molly, and overwhelmed with gratitude because these are core women that I have had these experiences with, of building each other up, supporting each other in your businesses, brainstorming, generating ideas, touching base personally, outside of business things, like there’s just…
And when you were talking about all the guests that you’re going to have and the collective and the program, I just kept thinking to myself, I feel that energy, I feel that energy. When I see and witness people in their element, doing what they love, you know, when I see Crystal on Instagram, sharing her stuff, talking about her marriage stuff, when I hear Mikki’s podcast and all of her amazing co-parenting stuff, when I see you, Molly, in your element doing what you’re doing. Like I can’t help, but be motivated and energized, and it fills me with so much hope, and that directly translates into my business and how I show up.
Molly Claire: Absolutely.
Ashton Barrett: And like if I can feel and believe that each of you have such a special, powerful, important message that the world needs to hear, maybe I do too, you know?
Molly Claire: Right, that’s right.
Ashton Barrett: So, I kind of just borrow that belief maybe because I have that belief with each of you, so…
Molly Claire: Oh, I love it, I love it. And also, as you know, Crystal and Mikki share —those of you listening, really think about those women who have really supported and empowered you and how you’ve experienced this and how you can create even more of it, right? How do you seek out those people that will be supporters of you? So, Crystal, how about you?
Crystal Hansen: I’m looking at all of you and I’m like every one of you have helped me with this. I have been known as the cheerleader, I’m everybody’s cheerleader, I’m the hype girl, I can get everybody fired up about their business, and I would get stuck a lot of times on my own because it felt so much more safe to help other people and it lit me up because my confidence was there, I’m like, “I can help you all day long,” but the confidence for me wasn’t there.
And so, even just learning from all of you and some of the other women that I have been in masterminds and stuff with has made me realize that I can look at it and say, “Well, if I can do that for them, I can bring that energy to me too.” And it helps me push forward, instead of staying stuck in this “I’m less than, or I’m they do it better than me.” It really gave me that power to be like, “I can try take all of this energy and then put it into my own business,” and that’s when things really started moving forward for me.
Molly Claire: Oh, I love that, and something that it brought to mind, that’s not exactly the same, but very related is how hopefully we are supporting other women and we’re also allowing ourselves to be supported in a very generous way, right? It’s that give and take that back and forth. And I had a conversation with Jamie Berman that already aired, where we were talking about money mindset and the flow of money back and forth.
And this is something we talked about there as well, that that generosity of giving has to go both ways, right? And it’s easier for some people to give and easier for other people to take, and are we doing both? So, listen, I am very imperfect and I’m sure that it’s like on social media, our life can look one way, and my team all knows here that I am not always as organized or not always as whatever as it might appear, right?
But one thing that I actually feel really proud of as I’m looking at all of you is I have definitely relied on all of you and my team so much to say, “Hey, I can’t see this little thing here, can you help me with this? I know you have a gift for this, can you bring this?” And even sometimes it’s sending a Marco polo and Ashton being excited about what I’m talking about, just lights me up. And so, as you’re listening, are you willing to receive generosity from other women and support? So definitely goes both ways. Okay, Mikki, how about you?
Mikki Gardner: I think as I’m sitting here staring at these faces, I think one thing for me that—and it’s a little off track and I got my mind sort of a little racing here, but I will say that in the divorce space and co-parenting space, I went through some things where it was very easy to blame other people.
And when you go into a co-parenting space in a blended family to have other women come in, your child’s life, there is—talk about competition, right? Competing for their attention, for their love. And there was a lot for me that I had to go through and I felt very alone in that process. But the reason that I sort of felt relevant here is that: it’s the way we do one thing is the way we do everything.
And I know for me, I decided almost instantly that whoever came in, I was going to look at as one more woman to strengthen my family, one more woman to love my child, and how could I embody that? And I think I’ve taken that then into my business, and then I get to be surrounded by women like each of you and the larger team and the community that I’ve built. And I think learning how to be in support, right? Again, it’s not competition and sort of, how can I step in to give and to receive and really sort of embodying that on a daily basis? I try to do that in my personal life, I try to do that in my business life, and I think it’s across the board.
And again, we’re in a culture that tells us all the opposite messaging, you know, that we are in competition with each other and how, you know, really sort of cutting each other down. And I think women have done that for so long, thinking that there’s only so many jobs or there’s only so much money or there’s only one man or whatever we’re competing for at that moment, right? And it’s really a paradigm shift, and it’s one that we take each step of each day, but surrounding yourself with women who make you feel empowered, stronger, energized, inspired, and that’s why I’m so grateful for this community and for each of you, so…
Molly Claire: I love that, and it really, it leads us right into what I was going to ask next because I think, Mikki, you kind of answered—this is how we sometimes can drop the ball when it comes to really supporting each other as women, right? And being united.
And I love that example you brought because for the coaches listening, I’m always talking about, right? Your business and also your personal life. And it’s really true, I would be curious to know… as you listening, think about how this does play into your personal life as well in your families, right? Because, oh, you want to talk about a space where we can get competitive, right?
It’s like, when we’re raising kids and we’re a parent and we’re looking at moms and what everyone’s doing and, you know, it makes up a couple chapters in my book all about motherhood, is like, are we comparing? Are we looking? Are we trying to be like someone else? And just personally example—that I relate to that Mikki was sharing is: when I remember when my ex-husband was first engaged, and I remember my daughter saying—I mean, I don’t know how old she was at the time, she was probably like five or six and she’s like, “Wow, so what do I call Natalie now? Do I call her mom?” And I just remember wanting to needing to breathe into a paper bag, but I tried to just say very calm.
And I was like, “Oh, probably Natalie’s good, we’ll just call her that, because it feels like, “Oh gosh, that’s my place as a mom, right?” And so, I know that again, that’s a little different issue, but it’s been a really great experience for me to really see this other woman who is very different from me in many ways and the great things she brings to my kids. It’s like my kids say all the time that my house and their dad’s house is like two different worlds, and they get so much from both.
So, I think, yeah, what if those women in around you, in your community, family or in the business space. What if we could lean more into: what can I gain or learn from this person? Right? How could we be in collaboration?” So, but I’d love to hear from you ladies, where do you think sometimes, we drop the ball when it comes to supporting each other and collaborating as women?
Ashton Barrett: I know for me personally, you know, in the last, you know, I’ve been on Instagram for eight years now, nine years now, has been kind of my baby, that’s where I started my original business. And when I think about that kind of journey in building a business through Instagram, I can see the places where you look back hindsight, right? And think,
Molly Claire: Oh, absolutely.
Ashton Barrett: I really wished I would’ve done that a little bit differently or I really wished I would’ve approached that a little differently. And I think what I’ve learned at times where I feel like maybe as women in general, we drop the ball, but obviously speaking through my lens personally, it definitely stems from my own insecurity, my own healing that needs to happen. I talked about this earlier, like the discomfort that we feel when we see other women being powerful or whatever, it may be, all the things that we compare and despair, like you say, Molly, compare and despair over with other women.
Learning to point the finger back to me and ask myself honestly, “What do you need to learn from this, Ashton? Where are you hurting? It’s like you know, inner child work. It’s like taking younger Ashton, like what message is trying to come to the surface right now?” Like something’s hurting, what can you learn from this and how do you want to show up?
Molly Claire: Yeah.
Ashton Barrett: So, obviously I’m saying it super oh, flowery right now, but when I look back, I’m like, “Oh, wish I would’ve done that a little differently along the way.” So, I think we dropped the ball when we don’t ask ourself, what is this really about?
Molly Claire: And I think as you’re talking, I almost want to add to that or maybe give a version of that, that definitely speaks to me, it’s like we drop the ball when we don’t look at how we can take care of ourselves, right? because it’s like, we can judge ourselves and say, “Oh, we dropped the ball when we’re threatened by someone, and we really shouldn’t think or feel that way.”
But instead, like we drop the ball when those feelings come up and we don’t take the opportunity to say, “Ooh, what’s coming up for you, like what are you afraid of? Right? Like, what am I afraid of? Or what healing is there that needs to happen? I think that self-connection is really how we can soften and heal those insecurities, right? Which will just eliminate the lack of collaboration that might be happening. So, love it, so good. Alright, Mikki, how about you?
Mikki Gardner: Yeah, I think it’s along the same lines, but it’s often— I think we drop the ball when we’re in judgment, right? When we think that someone else’s opinion has anything to do with us. And it’s mostly, we’re in that place when we’re out of alignment with ourself.
Molly Claire: Exactly.
Mikki Gardner: When we’re looking externally, when we’re sort of making those judgments. And so, I think, for me, the biggest shift has been and what I teach clients and I think even we all speak to as the theme is just turning inward, right? What do I need right now? Because when we come from that place of loving and caring for ourself, we’re not going to make decisions that are hopefully, right? Really destructive or awful, right? But it’s when we’re outside of ourselves, when we’re judging, when we’re doing all that, that’s when we take those actions, say those words that we’re kind of like, “Eh, yeah. I Could have done that differently, so.”
Molly Claire: Exactly. And I love that you guys are all speaking to—it’s not about—instead of, “Oh, I don’t like that person.” It’s not this harsh finger pointed back at yourself, but really self-care, right? connecting with self so that you can show up better in an outward way as well. Yes. All right, Crystal, so what you got?
Crystal Hansen: I am going to take a little different spin on this just because…So, I grew up with a single mom, and so I think I always had this great example and my mother is tiny, but she is fierce and she never asked for help and she just figured it out and it was not like, this is a man’s job and this is a woman’s job, like she just figured it all out.
And so, I kind of grew up with this mentality of like, “I can do it, I don’t need a man’s help or I don’t…” And then that almost translated into, “I don’t need anybody’s help.” And so I think we’re a lot of times we also drop the ball, is this: thinking that we can do it on our own and while we can, we are so much more powerful when we do things together. And the other thing that’s so great is: it gives us perspective of where other people are at, so that we can heal from maybe like—and even recognize places that we need to heal or recognize where there’s something for us to learn.
Molly Claire: Absolutely.
Crystal Hansen: And also, just coming from this point of we,, as women already have enough odds against ourselves, against coming at us, that we have to battle, we don’t need to be each other’s boss.
Molly Claire: Yes.
Crystal Hansen: We don’t have to do that. If we can work together, we are so much more powerful together than we are alone fighting the same battle.
Molly Claire: Crystal, I totally relate to you because I also was raised by a single mom, very independent, and I definitely moved toward the fiercely independent side, right? Too much so that it can be unhealthy. And so, I think we have to kind of learn that right? Learn that maybe there’s a place where we can have interdependence and relationships and also cooperative—and not that extreme independence is uncooperative, right? But it is that sense of, “Well, I can do this, I’ll just take care of it myself,” and it’s so much more powerful to be together, so…
I want to wrap up this interview and I’m going to, in a minute, I’m going to ask each of you just to give a couple sentences of your advice for the women listening to this, building a business, and for you men listening, you can take the advice too, you can make it your own.
But I want to ask all of you about that in a minute, and before I do, I just want to share—I was telling these women before we started recording, what a great day this is for me to do this interview and talk with all of you about this, because I teach all of you about giving yourself permission to honor your priorities and to be able to have that balance of business and your personal life and family and you and letting go of the conflict and the guilt and all of it.
And it’s still something we all experience. You know, my daughter just came back from her dad’s, she’s been there for a while and we have time carved out this week to spend together and I’m taking most of the week off, and I also have some things that I have plugged in, and I’m feeling all those feelings come up right?
As I was getting on this today, I was just feeling that there’s that familiar pull, right? Of which gets my attention. And so, having said all of that, my advice to all of you is the same advice I give myself and what I put into practice is—what if these two areas of my life are in cooperation?
What if these two areas are not in competition and they’re not against one another? How do I honor my prior and bring these two together so that I truly see how both sides of these build everything up together. So, all right ladies, what amazing advice do you have for my audience, Mikki? What do you have for our audience?
Mikki Gardner: All right, that’s a lot of pressure, Molly, come on.
Molly Claire: I know, right? Don’t drop the ball here, Mikki.
Mikki Gardner: I know, I’m so nervous, can I retract? No. I think the one thing that I want to offer which is my practice, right? What I am learning across the board is that: we’re not supposed to know, we’re not supposed to know the end results, if we did, we’d be there, right? And it’s actually just not ours to know, right? The universe has a plan—I’m a firm believer, universe, God, whatever you want to call it, right? There is motion, there’s energy, right? And so, our job is simply to tap into it and then allow ourselves to be that conduit, right? And so… my advice is figure out where you get lit up, because
Molly Claire: I love it.
Mikki Gardner: Right? There’s this energy in the world that’s happening, it is the energy we’re the light we got to plug in. And so, find those communities, find those places for you, hopefully it’s The Masterful Coach Collective for you, amazing women, right? Even if it’s not, find those women, find those supports, find those communities that when you plug in, you are lit up, right? You’re feeling the energy and because it’s with that, that we’re truly serving the world. And so, find that and keep going towards it.
Molly Claire: Yes, Amen to all of that, love it. All right, Ashton.
Ashton Barrett: What I keep thinking about is to use your voice. I don’t know if that’s the Instagram side of me, but with all the life coaches and people that I work with and help with their Instagrams, I feel like the unifying thread with all of them is: how can I get you to use your voice powerfully and not scared about what people will think about it? Because the thing that you’re most scared to say is most often the thing that is going to resonate most, and magnetize your people to you.
So, I would say, “Use your voice.” If you feel like you haven’t found it, you feel it’s a little shaky, it maybe feels small right now, you can’t strengthen it, it’s like a muscle. You can’t strengthen it unless you use it, so use it, use your voice. You’re going to tune it and strengthen it and figure out what you’re all about and harness that energy as you go, but you can’t do that unless you use it. So, it’s okay that it will feel clunky and uncomfortable, but you’ve got to use it. So, use your voice to strengthen it.
Molly Claire: Yes, I see a difference when I’ve seen a coach for a while and all of a sudden, their authenticity, their true voice starts coming out, I see a difference, I feel it, people do, right? Yes.
Ashton Barrett: They do.
Molly Claire: I love it.
Ashton Barrett: They see the difference, but you can’t find that unless you use it.
Molly Claire: Yes
Ashton Barrett: So, you use it, you know, get through that clunky face so that you can get there.
Molly Claire: Yes. Love it. All right, Crystal, any advice for our listeners.
Crystal Hansen: So, what I want to offer is, and I’m going to put a big emphasis on “When,” —is even when you think you can’t, do it anyway. I think a lot of times when we have this fire inside of us or this passion that we want to pursue, and we think it’s too scary or that we can’t do it, or we don’t have the capacity for whatever reason, push forward and do it anyway because that—when you lean into that passion or that little fire inside of you or something that you really feel happy about, and that brings you joy, that bleeds into every part of your life, and it really is a fulfillment. And so, when you feel that “I can’t do it” or the fear, do it anyway.
Molly Claire: Yes, to all of this. All right coaches, so great to have all of you amazing guests here, of course and also you listeners. And these are amazing women, I recommend you follow all of them. Really think today about “how can I support other women more fully, and where can I find those women who I know are going to be supportive of me?” Find those collaborations connect with other women because as we come together and link arms, as Mikki so beautifully said, that is when we have so much power. So hopefully we’ll be welcoming many of you into our community, but either way, all the way around, support one another. Aright, thanks for being here, I’ll talk to you next week.
Outro: Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach podcast. If you’re ready for complete support, as you build your coaching business, check out Molly’s collaborative community, the Masterful Coach Collective. It’s a place where you’ll have access to the best experts in the biz, community support and guidance as you build your perfect business, 90 days at a time. Visit www.mollyclaire.com for details.