My client Caroline keeps losing it every time her son throws a tantrum. She holds it together for a while, and then – she can’t. He is unreasonable. He doesn’t listen. He should not be acting that way.
We talked last week about why it’s so challenging for her. She thought it was just his behavior that bothered her, but we came to realize it’s really because she’s afraid she’s failing as a mom.
She makes his behavior mean that she’s not doing a good job. And that feels terrible. When that fear of inadequacy builds up inside of her – she loses it.
And suddenly she is the one acting unreasonable.
No one wants to act unreasonable. You don’t, and neither do your kids. But sometimes… it just happens.
What if your kids’ unreasonable behavior is just a weak moment or a challenging task?
What if it will pass and it’s not worth getting so upset about?
What if you can both learn from it, rather than believe it’s a sign that everything is going terribly wrong?
Try that on for size and see what happens. You may find it much easier to stay calm and solution-minded. And perhaps you can be reasonable, even when they aren’t.